The Lone Ranger

I'm confused. I thought the Lone Ranger was supposed to be a cowboy, the ultimate display of manliness, a man who I should aspire to be. And instead I get....this guy.

Armie Hammer is far from a bad actor. We saw him in The Social Network and he absolutely nailed his role. He was also astounding in J. Edgar. Then we saw Mirror Mirror. He played an obnoxious Prince Charming. Sure, he looked great, but he was horrendously unlikable,  disgracefully naive to the point of frustration, and trying far too hard to be perfect.

Now in his defense, that could have very well been the scripting of the character. And it does make sense. But then again, it only brings up the ultimate question I had for him; why on earth did he play that same character in The Lone Ranger?

His character in the film is literally exactly the same. But it doesn't work at all. Maybe the film was going for a whole character switch, but it never comes. And at the end of the film, I desperately don't want to be like either person in the film. Tonto is a jerk of a human being, with no respect for his new partner or for anyone around him and no willingness to help them, and the manly Lone Ranger is constantly finding himself in need of Tonto's help, screaming for dear life, and unable to help himself out of the silliest action movie situations. I think Depp did his best with what he was given, but even there I have to say his performance was forgettable at best. And what the logic was in casting him as a Native American man was, I can't remotely figure out.

As for the movie itself, it had this incredibly useless framing device around Tonto and a young kid. And more frustrating, it leads to a twist ending that is similar to Inception, in that it tries to be a twist but according to the rules of the film it means there is only one outcome. The script itself forced hackneyed character types down our throats, with no likability at all. And this is one heck of a long film to not have likable characters. And the story was so unexciting, as well as confusing at times, that the length was only more obvious. Simply put, it didn't work.

The fact is this movie was made to cash in on the popularity of Depp, the good looks of Hammer, and the Pirates of the Caribbean fandom from its producers. This was an enormous misfire. While it looks exciting enough, the younger generation is just not interested in westerns anymore, and no one knows who the Lone Ranger is anymore. So of course the vast majority of the audience was over the age of 25 and of course the film is tanking badly at the box office.

Rank - 1.5/5