Need For Speed

Video game movies are far from good. In fact, has there been a good one? People regard Prince of Persia as the best video game adaptation to film. and lord knows I abhorred that film. Wreck It Ralph is based on video gaming in general, and around an original story, so that doesn’t work. Scott Pilgrim also doesn’t work for me, that’s more based on a graphic novel than it is on any game. (SITE GAME) Then there are movies like Gamer, which are not only original stories, but horrendous movies. So what’s left?

Need For Speed. Because if there’s one thing less exciting than watching someone play a video game, it’s watching someone play a racing game. 

Need For Speed shoehorns a ridiculous story into an attempt at Fast & Furious-esque race sequences. It follows (NAME MAIN CHARACTER) as he travels to California after the murder of his…friend…protege…buddy…son-figure…person. I don’t know. All I know is that somehow this man goes to prison for suspected murder when the crime scene has more holes in it than the sail of the Black Pearl, and when he gets out he has a bloodlust for revenge. I don’t really get it, at least not the story. Character motivations ring out fine enough.

But character motivations are only there from the terribly blandness that they’re written to be. Seriously, the only character with any personality is (GIRL), and she’s only written to be a…well…actually, I can’t tell? Is she supposed to be really stupid? Because the movie opens up revealing her to be quite smart. Is she supposed to be daring? Because she looks terrified whenever the guys do anything to scare her away from the car. Is she supposed to be our relatable character? Because we know absolutely nothing about her. But she at least has a personality. The rest of the characters are boring, cliche, and honestly I couldn’t remember a single name until I looked them up. Good job, guys.

As far as the racing goes…what racing? There’s two races in the whole movie. Three, if you count the one between (LEAD MALE), our villain, and the kid. Why would we see a racing movie with no races? No, instead we’re forced to join the team as they traverse on a road trip to a secret race they’re not yet invited to somewhere in California…yeah, you read that right. This movie is RIDICULOUS. 

But it’s not ridiculous like the Fast & Furious franchise. At least those films keep a certain realm of ridiculousness around them, a believability in a universe. I can’t get into it, but lots of other people seem to get into it just fine. I can’t see anyone liking this all that much. I mean, we’re looking at a movie that tries incredibly hard to keep itself in a believable place, and yet this absurd story is happening. Add some pretty forgettable race sequences, lacking the visual excitement of Fast & Furious races and the tenseness of car chases from far better movies, and you have a boring, forgettable, and unnecessary video game movie. Sorry, Sony. But this movie in particular takes away any hope I have for “The Last Of Us”. And if that’s not good, I’ll scream.

Rank - 1/5