Frankenstein. A classic story of angels and gargoyles killing each other because...because. Right? Is that right? I don't think that's right.
This movie is a marvel. I can't speak to the comic book, but from what I saw, I just watched a complete misfire of an already incredibly flawed idea. It's literally about Frankenstein fighting demons from hell. Because...Underworld...?
Aaron Eckhart gives an admittedly decent performance of an unbelievably terrible role as Adam Frankenstein (yes, Adam), the Frankenstein monster now living in the present. He's attacked by demons for whatever dumb reason about him being super powered and not having a soul, and is saved by gargoyles. Who are apparently servants of God fighting to stop the demons, even though they sometimes turn on each other? I don't know. I just don't know. Meanwhile, Bill Nighy is doing something for some reason to stop him for some reason, something to do with an army of Frankensteins? Something about not needing God to make life? Oh Bill Nighy. You're so much better than this movie. In every way.
I'm sorry I can't explain this story better. It's just completely incomprehensible. Not only is it incomprehensible, but I could barely keep my eyes open. Its action is slow, it takes forever to move forward with its story, and character development simply never happens. Why is Frankenstein even doing this? No reasons. Nothing. Just because he can. Why are angels and demons even fighting on Earth right now? Again, no reason. Is it possible for me to say this film makes even less sense than Underworld? Yikes...
And technically speaking, it works in places, and doesn't in others. Just like Underworld. Sure, it has impressive looking monsters, but then the fight sequences are shaky cam and generic. Then we see other special effects that leave a whole heck of a lot to be desired later, only more jarring from the decent effects in other places. It's just so, so bad. I kid not, this may be one of the most unpleasant experiences I've ever had in a theatre. I should have walked out.
This year sucks. This year is starting out pretty damn terribly. Maybe we should just stop watching...
Rank - 0.5/5
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