Need For Speed

Video game movies are far from good. In fact, has there been a good one? People regard Prince of Persia as the best video game adaptation to film. and lord knows I abhorred that film. Wreck It Ralph is based on video gaming in general, and around an original story, so that doesn’t work. Scott Pilgrim also doesn’t work for me, that’s more based on a graphic novel than it is on any game. (SITE GAME) Then there are movies like Gamer, which are not only original stories, but horrendous movies. So what’s left?

Need For Speed. Because if there’s one thing less exciting than watching someone play a video game, it’s watching someone play a racing game. 

Need For Speed shoehorns a ridiculous story into an attempt at Fast & Furious-esque race sequences. It follows (NAME MAIN CHARACTER) as he travels to California after the murder of his…friend…protege…buddy…son-figure…person. I don’t know. All I know is that somehow this man goes to prison for suspected murder when the crime scene has more holes in it than the sail of the Black Pearl, and when he gets out he has a bloodlust for revenge. I don’t really get it, at least not the story. Character motivations ring out fine enough.

But character motivations are only there from the terribly blandness that they’re written to be. Seriously, the only character with any personality is (GIRL), and she’s only written to be a…well…actually, I can’t tell? Is she supposed to be really stupid? Because the movie opens up revealing her to be quite smart. Is she supposed to be daring? Because she looks terrified whenever the guys do anything to scare her away from the car. Is she supposed to be our relatable character? Because we know absolutely nothing about her. But she at least has a personality. The rest of the characters are boring, cliche, and honestly I couldn’t remember a single name until I looked them up. Good job, guys.

As far as the racing goes…what racing? There’s two races in the whole movie. Three, if you count the one between (LEAD MALE), our villain, and the kid. Why would we see a racing movie with no races? No, instead we’re forced to join the team as they traverse on a road trip to a secret race they’re not yet invited to somewhere in California…yeah, you read that right. This movie is RIDICULOUS. 

But it’s not ridiculous like the Fast & Furious franchise. At least those films keep a certain realm of ridiculousness around them, a believability in a universe. I can’t get into it, but lots of other people seem to get into it just fine. I can’t see anyone liking this all that much. I mean, we’re looking at a movie that tries incredibly hard to keep itself in a believable place, and yet this absurd story is happening. Add some pretty forgettable race sequences, lacking the visual excitement of Fast & Furious races and the tenseness of car chases from far better movies, and you have a boring, forgettable, and unnecessary video game movie. Sorry, Sony. But this movie in particular takes away any hope I have for “The Last Of Us”. And if that’s not good, I’ll scream.

Rank - 1/5

Mr. Peabody and Sherman

I've never watched the cartoon this is based off of (definitely before my childhood), but I can appreciate its history. Then again, what business does a television show made decades ago have being made into a feature length film far after its popularity? It's not like that's ever been done. Except with the Smurfs. And Yogi Bear...and the A-Team...and the Lone Ranger...you get the point.

As it turns out, Mr. Peabody and Sherman is an incredibly lovable and fun movie, with plenty of laughs and an enormous heart. I might be a little biased, but my heart melts when it comes to stories about adoption, having been adopted myself. This story delves into not just the idea of a dog adopting a human boy, but some of the bigger frustrations of being adopted. In particular, the feelings that we simply don't belong to someone who looks nothing like that. It sounds silly (of course being a boy adopted by a dog is tongue in cheek), but one of my first questions to my parents was a very innocent but very serious "why am I brown and you're white?" And growing up I did feel that. So call me a sap, but watching a father/son relationship that's based on adoption grow makes me feel sappy.

But the story isn't what makes Peabody and Sherman shine. No, it's a super quick witted and hilariously movie with plenty of jokes for the kids and the grownups. I was cracking up every few minutes, for the great historical humor and completely random, raunchy jokes. Let me just say there's a line about touching yourself that's brilliantly placed. Not to mention hilarious revelations of Egyptian burial customs, a weird but zanily funny robot built by DaVinci, and a pretty hilarious depiction of Agamemnon by Patrick Warburton.

The film revolves around the escapades of the famous time traveling duo, in a movie that to me is reminiscent of Meet the Robinsons meets Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs humor. These are both enormous compliments to the style and humor of the movie. It looked perhaps not as good as previous Dreamworks films such as How to Train Your Dragon, but it managed to keep a style all its own nonetheless. Brilliant voice acting all around, with a great visual style unique to the studio, left me having a great time in the theatre, laughing at brilliant jokes and feeling the sappiness of the (perhaps a bit heavy handed) emotional bursts the film has. It's a good movie. A really good movie.

Rank - 4/5. 

Top Three Thursday - Jason Bateman

So I'm sitting here thinking about what I could possibly do with Tyler Perry or car movies and...frankly, I got nothing. Then I see that Jason Bateman has a movie coming out! It's opening super limited, but why the hell not! I'll cheat this week. These may not be my favorite movies with him in it, but it's not about that. Here's my Jason Bateman blurb!

Jason Bateman was born in Rye, NY, incidentally very close to wear I go to school at Purchase College. The family however moved to Salt Lake City when he was 4 years old. His father, Kent Bateman, is an active director/producer/actor (although moreso during the 80s and 90s) and founded a stage company in Hollywood. Bateman's first appearance was in an episode of Little House on the Prairie in 1981 at age 12, his first break before taking over various other television roles throughout the 80s. It was also during this time that he became the Directors Guild of America's youngest director, directing three episodes of Valerie, a show his father contributed to as well. During the 90s, he struggled with drug an alcohol problems, but his true recent success is probably best linked to his starring role on Arrested Development, a role that would define him as a comedian and eventually push his stardom in film to new levels during the 2000s. 

Bateman has done so much work, it's really quite difficult for me to narrow down my favorite of his works. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Here they are! My three favorite performances by Jason Bateman! (And before you get all pissed, I haven't had the time to watch Arrested Development. But I'm sure he's amazing in it.)

1) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

This is my earliest memory of Bateman, even though I never realized it was him until early college years. Bateman plays a small role as a sports commentator at the dodgeball tournament in the final act of the film. His lines make absolutely no sense, or are hilariously obvious to everyone around him. It lets the audience laugh at the people around him, who are unsure of how to react to such strange lines and moments from Bateman. It's almost questionable that he's even there. What's he doing? Is he serving as a parody of sports commentators? Is he a random stoner joke? Why is he there? There's no reason. And yet he manages to make it work beautifully. 

2) Disconnect (2013)

This was a bit of an unknown movie from last year, only making a bit more than 2 million at the box office and opening incredibly limited. Bateman plays the father of a boy who's cyber bullied by kids in his grade, and the horrible consequences of their actions become a terrifying reality. Obviously, this isn't a funny movie. This is an incredibly sad, tragic, and hurtful film. Bateman's character is skeptical of the situation, thinks something far worse is going on and almost succumbs to madness from his refusal to accept what's going on. It's a wonderful performance, one that I hope could get him some really great roles in the future.

3) Paul (2011)

Gotta love anything from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost! Throw Seth Rogen in there as a foul mouthed grey alien and tons of references to some of the most popular and best science fiction franchises and films, and you have yourself one hell of a funny picture. In this, Bateman plays a government agent tracking the team down to return Paul, the alien, to return him to Area 51. Bateman is equal parts funny and serious, intimidating and ridiculous. It's a great dynamic and a great mix, one that really shows off not only how well he can act but how he can let the people around him define his humor as well. 

It only opens limited, but be sure to check out Bad Words, coming out this weekend! 

300: Rise of an Empire

I never really cared for 300. It was fun enough, but dramatically didn't do anything for me. It had its bloody fun, but was also too ridiculous for me to buy. It had gorgeous cinematography, but clunky pacing and campy acting. It worked for who it was made for. But for me, it didn't totally work.

300: Rise of an Empire serves as a completely unnecessary sequel/prequel/spin off that manages to surpass its predecessor in some ways but completely miss the mark in other ways. Visually it absolutely succeeds, becoming more of a Zach Snyder looking movie than the last Zach Snyder movie. (It should be noted that while Snyder wrote and produced 300, Rise of an Empire was directed by Noam Murro, a man who made a movie more stylistically reminiscent of Snyder than Man of Steel was even close to being.) It keeps a bright tone, one which let me feel the heroism of it's absolutely ridiculous soldiers as if it was really happening, and more importantly like it really would be remembered for a thousand years. I loved the villains look, and the design and interpretation of the Persian army was a lot of fun to look at.

But it must be said that Rise of an Empire made one mistake that I found jarring. Rather than focus on the violence, it focused on blood. It seems like a silly point. But 300 made our heroes look powerful and uncompromising by showing the way they fought. Slow motion was used to show how they moved in perfect style, efficiency, and brutality, able to take out soldier after soldier effortlessly. There's an element of that in Rise of an Empire as well, but rather than use slow motion to show off fighting choreography, it uses it to showcase the poorly CGI'd blood flying from bodies in ridiculous ways. The film also was much more aware of its status as a film, often allowing blood to splatter on the camera lens. For an audience that's hyped up to see some heads chopped off, it works. But it left something to be desired for me. I missed appreciating the brains of our bad-ass Spartan soldiers.

There is one person who made this film really enjoyable. That one person is Eva Green as Artemisia, a creepy, sexy, and terrifying warlord leading the Persian Navy. She constantly put a smile on my face, whether it was from her creepy demeanor around her peers and Xerxes, her reactions to the enormous failures from the officers constantly failing her, or her kick-ass fighting which left even the overblown heroes dying in droves at her feet. She's what I always love to see in an action villain - someone who can fight on every front, be it emotional, psychological, or physical destruction. She reminded me so much of Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender (my favorite television show, for those who don't know me).

Overall, Rise of an Empire didn't impress me. But it did give me something to smile about for a bit. Its bloody antics kept me cheering, even if I missed the badass action of the previous 300 film, and it had Eva Green to keep things interesting and fun. I guess that's about all you can really hope to expect from any film in this series.

Rank - 3/5

Son Of God

I am not a christian. I don't associate myself with any religion, including atheism anymore, choosing instead to use my life experiences to form my own beliefs about the universe. But as someone who was raised in a christian household, Jesus' story was told to me countless times. I knew plenty of stories from the bible and when watching movies like this, I know the morals and ideals following each of Jesus' stories. So I'm judging this solely as a piece of cinema. If you have religious connections or values to this film, I respectfully ask you to put them aside for the sake of understanding the art of cinema behind it.

This wasn't a good movie. There were too many moments of laziness, a complete lack of passion, and too awkward of a pace for there to be any connection. The laziness is what really got to me. Swords looked like toys. Costumes looked thrown together. Poorly used green screens litter the more exciting scenes, detracting any sense of believability from the situation. Jesus' hair is disturbingly flawless for a wanderer in the desert, and everything about him and his followers looks far too clean to be believably nomad. Bloody scenes often lack the necessary damage to look believable. In fact one particular scene blatantly showed him being struck in the back with no damage at all.

But then again, this movie was doomed from the start. This wasn't written or structured to be a film. Rather, the successful miniseries on the History Channel served as not just the base for this film, but the entire narrative. The creators took some footage not shown, as well as some footage from the series, and cut it together for a movie. That doesn't work for me. Especially for a christian company. Are you so passionless about the man who defines your entire religion that you won't take the time to tell his story in the proper medium? Is the extra money really so important that you're willing to sacrifice the emotion of the story behind it? It leads to horrendous pacing problems. The film blows through 30 years of story in about 45 minutes. The rest of this 2+ hour movie is devoted to three days. Sure, it can work. But it doesn't here. It's jarring, frustrating, and becomes dreadfully boring. 

Jesus Christ is a character I want to love in literature, but he has the same flaw so many other religious figures and influential characters in film have - they are characters that are incredibly interesting at their core, but are given no personality whatsoever. As a non-christian, Jesus Christ is a fascinating figure to me. Not because of religious value, but rather as a human. Here is a man who's father sent him to earth knowing full well he would be brutally killed. That's an awesome set up for abandonment issues. How about when he raised Lazarus from the dead in his tear-filled desperateness to see his friend alive again? That screams immaturity, possibly from being treated like the messiah he claimed to be for his entire life.

The fascination of Jesus for me comes not from his position as the christian god, but rather as a god made human. That to me suggests an imperfect human. In other words, a human. I wish film makers would use that angle. For the non christians in the audience, let us connect with the characters. Just because we don't believe in the religion doesn't mean we can't appreciate the tragedy or drama of a story about a man betrayed by his best friend and brutally killed, days after being praised as a savior. So this movie might have a powerful effect on christian communities. For for those of us who left religion, or don't believe in it, there's no passion to the story anymore

Rank - 1/5

Top Three Thursday - Patrick Warburton

I've decided to have a little bit of new fun to keep myself writing on a regular basis - Top Three Thursday! Every Thursday, I'm going to pick an actor, director, producer, etc.. and pick my (you guessed it) Top Three favorite things that actor has done! The only requirement - the person I write about has to be involved a film coming out that coming weekend. Generally speaking, it will be movies or TV shows, but I'll also include other forms of media for the heck of it.

So, for my first Top Three Thursday, we're going to take a look at a very well known and equally under-appreciated actor, Patrick Warburton.

Warburton is a New Jersey native, born in Paterson (relatively close to my own home town!), but was raised in Huntington Beach CA. Before pursuing an acting and modeling career, he actually studied Marine Biology in Costa Mesa. Warburton is perhaps most well known for his performance in Seinfeld as the air headed ex-boyfriend of Elaine, David Puddy, as well as his praised, albeit short-lived,  performance in "The Tick". The rest of his physical acting career is most often based on his large physique and distinct voice, often casting him as dimwitted, buff, or social uncomfortable characters.

But most people don't seem to pay too much attention to Warburton's physical acting career. His distinct voice has gotten him voice work all over for advertising, children's TV, adult TV, animated films and other areas of voice performance. In fact, two of my favorite performances from Warburton are animated. What are they, you ask?

3) Joe Swanson (Family Guy)

I'm sure I don't need to talk too much about Joe Swanson, the paraplegic police officer from Seth MacFarlane's "Family Guy". Swanson is a loud, muscular police officer. His backstory for a long time involved falling off a rooftop on Christmas Eve after a fight with The Grinch, who was stealing children's presents. Swanson is a perfect demonstration of how Warburton is used best - short, sometimes even fleeting or unnecessary roles, enough to let his distinct voice give comical lines, but never so much that it becomes tiresome to listen to. Most of the humor from Joe is incredibly uncomfortable, i.e, jokes about going to the bathroom or having sex since being paralyzed. Most of the jokes would be incredibly tasteless or uncomfortable from any other actor. But Warburton's voice allows for a sensitive touch, a tone that lets us know its okay to laugh. It's strangely comforting, and probably the only way such a character could ever work.

2) Scott (Ted, 2012)

I don't know what it was about this role that had me laughing so hard, but it definitely is another role that only Warburton could put so much laughter in. Scott is a coworker of John (Mark Wahlberg), a rental car dealer, who may be gay except that he likes chicks. That's his own unintentional description. The film introduces his character through a story from the night before, where he claims he texted someone asking them to beat him up, and later texted them back saying "thanks". It's incredibly strange, a joke that for most people wouldn't work. But Warburton's use of the words "wasted" and "thanks" in such bizarre lines, as well as the inflections his voice uses, make it impossible not to laugh. Somehow, this man can make jokes about BDSM gay sex and have them actually work. Bravo, Warburton. The rest of the film he makes periodic appearances, each of which either reinstate possible homosexuality or just drop a zany quip about farting in your sleep. Real high-brow humor. My favorite. 

1) Kronk (The Emperors New Groove, 2000)

Because DUH. My earliest memory of Warburton's iconic voice is this movie, where he plays the zany, dimwitted, and shockingly multi-talented Kronk. The sidekick of the films villain Yzma, Kronk is given the task to kill Emperor Kuzco so that Yzma can take the throne. But instead of giving Kuzco poison, Kronk gives him a potion that turns him into a llama. Kronk then sets off with Yzma to find and kill the Emperor before he returns to the kingdom. It's through these shenanigans we see some of Kronk's many hilarious and zany talents. These include but are not limited to apparent super strength, hilarious attempts at stealth, squirrel communication, and apparently culinary ability. Simple lines that would be pointlessly put in to waste time for a cheap laugh are instead made hilarious, often times just through the repetition of a single word or phrase. In particular, I love one scene where he simply says "right" a few times, in his iconic voice. His interactions and relationship with his boss are both creepy and funny, often allowing both actors to demonstrate their comedic ability. I guess nostalgia wins out, my first memory of Warburton's voice is also my favorite. 

Check out Patrick Warburton as King Agamemnon this weekend in "Mr. Peabody and Sherman"! 

Oh Hai Mark!: Quality Time with Greg Sestero

I've always dreamed about being a musician. But what if my first album, my greatest achievement, what I would work my hardest to make, was also my greatest failure, ridiculed and laughed at?

For 10 years. 

A few months ago, I had the pleasure of seeing The Room, a movie widely considered to be the greatest bad movie ever made. (Check out my review of the eventful night here.) It's hilariously funny, weirdly awkward, and best of all, surrounded by the best fans. Fans who participate by throwing spoons at the screen and screaming obscenities at their favorite lines. But there's one question that goes through everyone's mind - who is Tommy Wiseau? What does it feel like to be him? Why would ANYONE stay in this movie?!

Well, this lowly blogger had the opportunity to find out. As one of four people excited enough to wait 3 hours before the show even started, I had the pleasure of offering Greg Sestero help to set up his merch table and, from there, an unbelievably cool interview with the man!

So who is Greg Sestero? Well, he's most famous for playing Mark in the film. Recently, Sestero came out with a laugh filled novel titled "The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside the Room, The Greatest Bad Movie Ever Made". He happened to be traveling through Purchase College to promote the book, as well as one other fun activity that will be mentioned later...just you wait...anyway, here's a clip of Sestero...ahem..."performing" in this film. He's the one that doesn't look like a freaking alien.

Sadly, my interview didn't have any record. I didn't think it was gonna happen. Lord knows I'm not professional. At all. But I can answer some frequently asked questions (even if I can't quote him...)!

Why THE HELL did he act in this atrocity??

Well there's a few reasons. The book he wrote suggests that Tommy Wiseau, the creepy guy in the video who wrote, directed, produced, and starred in the film, offered him a very large sum of money. But Sestero also talked about obligation, that Tommy was a friend and he was doing it to support a friend. He was also doing it for tape, to have something to send to producers to demonstrate his acting talent (oops...). Most importantly, Tommy did it knowing that this film would never see the light of day. (Again...oops...)

Does Tommy Wiseau actually talk/act like that?!?!

Yes. And Sestero does a SPOT ON impersonation of it. According to him, Wiseau often claims to also speak French. And in his spot on impression, Sestero suggested that Tommy claimed to "speak French and two other language". 

More hilariously, a member of the audience asked him later on if he was ever insulted by Wiseau impersonators, considering his was so spot on. He said he thought they had the best Tommy impersonator he ever "cast" that night. (Oh don't worry...I'll explain later on. Just you wait. Just. You. Wait.)

What does he think about the success of The Room? Did he think it would happen?

Not at all. When the first bits of the cult started to form in LA, he thought it was funny that these guys actually took part in some way to give to this movie. He felt overwhelmed that such a failure of a film could be his greatest claim to fame. Now he hopes to move back into acting, with a few projects lined up over the next few years, including a feature length adaptation of his book with the involvement of James Franco and Seth Rogan. (He hinted that Sacha Baron-Cohen approached them about the project, as well as his desire to see Javier Bardem potentially take on the role of Wiseau!)

What's his book like?!

It's hilariously funny and uncomfortably sad. But that's me talking. I'll let him read his own book to you. (P.S., he forgot to bring a copy out with him. After I chucked my book to him, we learned that catching footballs on set paid off wonderfully.) Click here! For some reason, I can't embed it. But here's a picture of my signed book to fill the space. 

To Tommy. You're my Rose :) 

What does Tommy think of the book??

He refers to it as the "Red Bible". According to Sestero, Tommy's opinion of the book is on and off. Sometimes he loves it. Other times he doesn't like how he's portrayed. Apparently he doesn't like that Sestero implies that he dyes his hair.

Where the heck did Tommy get $6 million for his movie?!

The short of it - retail. Tommy was apparently very good at selling jeans. In fact if you look hard enough on the internet, or watch the new documentary about the film, you'll see a commercial Tommy made solely to get into the Screen Actors Guild for his store and jeans selection. But then again, there's no way this covered the whole thing. It still remains a mystery.

What's next for The Room?!

I think my favorite possibility was the audio book idea. Apparently Sestero was approached to do an audio book. He had the idea of narrating with Wiseau reading whenever he talked. When he brought up the idea, Wiseau agreed. "My price is half million dollars."

As I mentioned before, The Disaster Artist is being adapted into a film. When I asked him his thoughts on the involvement, he described the film as being told from his perspective, with a hint of sadness to the reality of what was actually happening around him. I love the idea, and he seemed excited at the idea of Franco being involved.

What does Sestero do in his spare time?

Well this is my favorite - we have SPOT ON the same taste in video games! He went to sign someone's N64 game cartridge (for some reason...), which prompted me to ask him his favorite video games. His answer? Uncharted, The Last of Us, Red Dead Redemption, and Bioshock. AWESOME. 

BUT NOW FOR THE BEST PART

The best thing to possibly happen in this scenario happened. Sestero brought out several copies of the original script to the film...and let US, the audience, PLAY IT OUT. That's right, we got to be in The Room! And when Sestero met my best friend Mark and I, he immediately suggested that we play Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) and Mark (his character)!!!! After the performance, he said that I was an really good Tommy Wiseau impersonator, and I'm 99% sure he started to say I was the BEST Johnny he cast on the tour. So that's it. My ability to be a horrible actor is validated. So here's the video. For the record, it gets good 12 minutes in :D  ENJOY!!! I hope...

Non-Stop (Unranked)

If you really want to see this movie, I will let you know now that there are spoilers. But I very much urge you to not see this horrendously insulting film. And this, my friends, is coming from a very liberal minded person.

I will not rank this movie. I refuse to see this movie considered in my list of movies at the end of the year. It's a mediocre film, filled with shaky camera to hide bad action sequences. Bad plot points litter the thing, with red herrings everywhere and obviously made red herrings. It's a lame mystery at best. But even the good qualities of this film are lost. Liam Neeson's fun character, riddled with action movie cliche's and action hero stupidity (so much of this could have been solved so easily if he wasn't a complete idiot about it), is completely forgotten by me in the films final act. Get ready. This next paragraph is spoilers.

The film follows Neeson's character as a US Air Marshall on a flight to London when he gets a text message warning him that every 20 minutes a passenger will die until $150 million is wired into an account that is revealed to be made in Liam Neeson's name. (Oh wait, it's a trust. We're gonna keep calling it an account and imply bank account, even from the good guys, until it's dramatically convenient for us to reveal that it's actually a trust.) We meet character after character after character leading us on in obviously false misadventures, packed with more plot points for each one than could possibly be necessary. And then the reveal. The horrendous, disgraceful reveal. Who is the terrorist? And why is he doing this?

Well folks, it's a soldier. A soldier who lost his father on 9/11. His plan, to kill someone on this plane every 20 minutes and demand $150 million dollars into the bank account of an Air Marshall to make a statement. That it was somehow Liam Neeson's fault that his father died. That all Air Marshall's are to blame for the 9/11 attacks. That this will make American security tighter. And that this will avenge his fathers death on that tragic day.

Yes, I know. There are other themes of racism (a man wearing a turban who is NOT the terrorist, for example) that should be praised in this film. But the use of such a low blow, a sickening use of a truly tragic event to justify a villain's perceived "just" actions, made me incredibly angry. It's a cheap trick. An attempt to try to make the move relevant somehow. It doesn't work. Not for me. Instead, it makes the film feel childish and insensitive. 

I have friends who lost family members on 9/11. I have family members who worked dangerously close to the towers. I know plenty of people who were affected by the 9/11 attacks. And to depict any survivor in such a way is horrendous. What is this movie trying to accomplish? Is it trying to say that American airline security is too lax? Because I'm pretty sure it took some serious doing to get enough money for an enormous bag of cocaine to hide a military grade bomb in a suitcase, and more money to convince airline security to not stop the also probably highly paid second air marshall from carrying it aboard. How is this easy? Is this supposed to be some knock at American conservatism? Because 9/11 is not something that can be rightly used when so many people still affected by it live every day. I wasn't even directly affected by it, and to see even a fabricated justification of terrorist actions in the name of American security, it made me incredibly angry. 

LETS GET REAL HERE FOR A MINUTE. Conservatives, why are you so mad? Is it because of the obvious turbaned man not being a terrorist? Because that's disgraceful enough. Liberals, what makes this okay? Is it because it has that twist of a white terrorist? Because no one wins in this case. Conservatives, you just watched liberal people prove that extreme American nationalism can result in terrorism, as well as a film that suggests that your privacy should be even more restricted. Liberals, you just watched a movie that had the audacity to suggest that death can be justified as long as its done for the greater good, as well as a film that suggests that more power should be placed into the hands of the big wigs! No one's views are supported and ALL THATS LEFT IS HURT FEELINGS.

I refuse to rank this movie. I refuse to accept that it is remotely on the same scale. To all of my close friends affected by such an insulting plot, I'm sorry that you paid for this. To the rest of you, PLEASE reconsider. There must be a message that gets across that using an event that effected so many people in such an insulting and mean spirited way is not okay. 

2014 Biggest Anticipations

So now that 2014 is upon us, what movies am I looking forward to this year? Well there's a bunch...so you know what? I'm not gonna talk. I'm gonna let trailers do the work. Here are some of the movies (only some!) of the movies I'm most excited for coming up this year!


The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Raid 2

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

A Million Ways to Die in the West

22 Jump Street

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Guardians of the Galaxy

The Box Trolls

How To Train Your Dragon 2

Top 10 Best Films of 2013

Here it is, the end of the cinematic year! The Oscars are over, and now we look on to the rest of 2014 to see how it all turns out. But what about last year for me? Everyone always asks me to summarize my favorite movies in a list. But my list is always growing during the year. So, here it is. These are the movies that I personally feel are the best films of 2013. Thank you everyone who reads my blog, this is for you! I hope you agree!

Top 10 Best Films of 2013

10. 42

It’s so painful and maybe even a bit mean to say, but I need to stand by it - movies about racism in America are a difficult topic now. Most films try to advertise to families and thus find themselves in a rut of dumbed down violence and treatment. In particular, last year The Help did very little for me to feel the anger and frustration I should feel towards such serious subject matter. 42 had me feel everything I could have possibly felt. Anger, sadness, a desire to stand up and fight for these characters that existed far before I was even born. It made me cry with tears of joy, and scream at moments of horrendous injustice. It’s been a very long time since a movie affected me that way, and it was a really beautiful thing. And most importantly, it took a sport I always found uninteresting and made me fascinated by it. It’s a great experience, and a beautiful telling of such an overlooked story.

9. Captain Phillips

Apparently there are a lot of problems with this film, criticisms of the depiction of the captain being totally fabricated. But as a movie, it’s a total success at making the audience suspenseful and frightened, reminiscent of Argo in its often silent moments. It’s also one of the movies that has an obvious ending, yet manages to keep us excited and guessing what will come next for our characters. Tom Hanks plays a (possibly fabricated) fabulous leader, clear and firm, while also being human, afraid and second guessing himself, worried at his own outcome. The villains have enough story for us to feel their humanity, but not so much that we support them. It’s a great tone, and I loved every second. 

8. Dallas Buyers Club

I don’t like Matthew McConaughey. And even with all of the attention this film has gotten, I have to emphasize that I think he only did well in the film for its obvious writing for him to play himself. But putting that aside, I can’t pretend that he wasn’t a perfect choice for the role. And if I put him aside all together, this movie is one of the most honest, genuine, beautiful movies I can remember watching. Especially Jared Leto, playing a soft spoken, beautiful character with sensitivity and grace that was unparalleled. It had a great tone, sense of silence and noise that I’ve never experienced in such a distinct way. It’s a beautiful, emotional, and honest.

7. The Place Beyond the Pines

A lot of people didn’t gravitate to this film. It was told in an uncomfortable way, with three separate stories connected chronologically and thematically. But I loved it. It showed three unbelievably talented actors give beautiful, sensitive performances in a way I hadn’t experienced before. Ryan Gosling’s story was exciting, thought provoking, and very upsetting, moving into Bradley Coopers story of mistrust, exposure of misconduct, and sacrifice, and how those choices affected Dane DeHaan’s character in the final act of the film. Everyone in this movie is amazing, the music is deep and thoughtful, the cinematography is beautiful, it’s just a gorgeous movie. And of course, who can say no to Ryan Gosling’s shirtless self giggling while feeding a baby ice cream?  Women’s pants just flew off. 

6. Fruitvale Station

This is a heart wrenching story of a young mans decisions to change his life by dropping marijuana usage, spending more time with his daughter, getting a job, and becoming the best person he can imagine. All of this done before a tragic unexpected ending. It’s based on an incredibly sad true story, and Michael B Jordan’s portrayal of this character is nothing short of career defining. It’s both lovable and questionable, all brilliant. Ariana Neal gives another dynamite performance in the best child performance I’ve seen since Beasts of the Southern Wild. Octavia Spencer also comes in with the best performance I can think of for her. The film boasts beautiful cinematography, hypnotizing music, and spot on pacing and story telling. This is one to watch as soon as you possibly can.

5. The Worlds End

I’m so biased towards Edgar Wright movies, I love them so much. And I love the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy’s other two films, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. But honestly, this might be my new favorite of the series. It was so incredibly funny, new and fresh enough to define itself from the rest of the trilogy, and yet is just tongue in cheek enough to make fun of itself and its established characters from previous movies. It looks great, with awesome and creepy special effects to give you chills while you watch. Not to mention an amazingly funny cast with an awesome set up and conclusion. This movie works on every level, even with just enough believable drama to balance the constant humor. I guess the best way to say it is that it works in the best ways, constantly. And it’s freakin hilarious.

4. Gravity

It needs to be said that Gravity is NOT a perfect movie. It opens up with such a predictable set up that the rest of the story is obvious. It’s like the old trope of a cop two days from retirement, or a man on the last day of the job. Then it has some weird sequences that made me role my eyes at the cheesiness of them. But what it fails at in subtlety, it makes up for in awesome cinematography, crazy special effects, amazing performances despite the somewhat lackluster script, and such a tense and exciting story filled with unforgettable moments. Not to mention this is the first movie I’ve really loved Sandra Bullock in. We saw a silly and cocky side of George Clooney that I loved getting to know, and a chemistry between the two that simultaneously didn’t exist and functioned perfectly. So it’s proof to me that an unimpressive script can result in a really great piece of art.

3. Her

Her is a delightfully creepy and yet beautiful movie about a man falling in love with his computer. It’s disturbing how not disturbing it actually was. I understood his attraction to his computer, it made sense to his life and his personality. The movie was slow, thoughtful, and patient. It let the audience breathe with the film, letting us adjust from our world to this world perfectly. Every performance was flawless, even if it was only Scarlett Johanssons voice. The colors of this film in particular are both soft and yet strangely abrasive. Even passing roles, such as the one played by Chris Pratt, are memorable for their ease of accepting a lifestyle that is foreign to us. It’s a brilliantly written, fabulously directed, flawlessly performed, and just a crazy experience of a movie.

2. The Way Way Back

This is a very unrecognized comedy from the summer, about a young introverted kid finding his voice working for Sam Rockwell at a water park to escape the cruelty of his mothers boyfriend. Not only is it hilarious, it’s so sweet and lovable. It has a flawless portrayal of an introverted and depressed kid, one that I definitely identify with at his age. He has his quirks that make us laugh, but mostly we just feel sad that he’s hurting. Steve Carell plays the incredibly unfunny and cruel boyfriend to our main characters mother, opening the movie in an incredibly hurtful speech to the kid. Anna Sophia-Robb owns her role as the girl next door, who is intrigued by this strange kid, excited at the idea of him being someone different than the awful people around her. Hilariously funny, perfectly saddening, and beautifully relatable, this is a movie I’ll never forget.

1. 12 Years A Slave

I can remember the exact moment I knew this movie was my favorite of the year. It was during the speech Chiwetel Ejiofor had his speech to Brad Pitt. I felt hardened by the film, I had seen violence that I’d never seen in a film before, in such a disturbing and hurtful light. But this speech was what finally made me cry. After everything this movie put me through, this moment was so beautifully written and shot, it was like feeling every weight and burden this man had gone through collapse on top of me all at once. It was so sad, so beautiful, so upsetting. This movie is unlike any other, using brutal reality of slavery and slave owners to make us feel the real pain of hopelessness. Benedict Cumberbatch’s character in particular, a good hearted and fair man who in the hardest moment refuses to help his slave, brings a brutal reality to the level of good heartedness that didn’t exist for a slave. It’s a brutal awakening and a beautiful story, one that left me completely broken in my seat, unable to move for a good 20 minutes. It is, without a doubt in my mind, the best movie of the year. 

Well, that's it! Time to move forward, into 2014! But before we do, what were some of your favorite movies?! I'd love to know!

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013

There are movies that make you want to bash your head into the seats in front of you. The movies that have nothing redeemable. The movies that make you feel like you just blew whatever you just paid for a ticket, money you could have used for the alcohol to forget the movie. These are the movies that make my head hurt. The movies that should never have been made. My biggest wastes of money at the theatre.

10. Grudge Match

But Tom, what could go wrong with a boxing movie starring Stallone and De Niro? I’ll tell you how..by not having any freakin boxing. This movie is literally about nothing until the final boxing match. Stallone is coping with whatever emotional crap he’s dealing with that prevents him from wanting to fight because there needs to be drama. Meanwhile, De Niro finds himself trying to reconnect with his lost son and grandson and reconnect family ties. Wait a minute. I didn’t pay for any of this. I just wanted a freakin boxing movie that made me laugh. The only thing funny in this movie was the set up. Because lets get real, putting Stallone against De Niro is like putting me in an MMA fight with Tom Hardy. It’s pretty freakin obvious who’s gonna win, and setting it up like its an actual fight is just absurd. 

9. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

What ISN’T wrong with Mortal Instruments? Well it isn’t too short…Mortal Instruments successfully manages to rip off every fantasy franchise, while managing to make its own ideas look stupid and weird. Not only does it rip off plot points, it even rips off exact shots from some bigger franchises, such as Twilight, Harry Potter, Star Wars, heck even a bit of Eragon! Next there’s the terribly unlikable and forgettable characters and their hilarious “character development”, if you could call it that. Lily Collins goes from being an average looking girl to a freakin goth. Get it? Because she’s changing. It’s as subtle as a freakin axe to the head. How about making every werewolf a biker for some reason? Or the random forced gay warlock? Or the vampires that do absolutely nothing to hide their identities as vampires? Ugh. This is just complete crap.

8. The Host

My friends said that this movie was so bad it made them laugh. Definitely didn’t have that effect on me. I was PISSED watching this movie. First off, this movie never explains why the aliens invading is necessarily a bad thing. They appear to be helping humanity, and we just seem to be too stubborn to let them. Second of all, the name. Souls? These aliens are called Souls? So much for threatening. How about the hilarious interactions people have? For example, when I run into another human girl, I will immediately shove my tongue down her throat. That makes sense, right? And then there’s the awful internal dialogue between this “soul” (ugh) and the girl she’s controlling. It’s loud, annoying, pointless, and stupid. What a terrible movie.

7. Texas Chainsaw 3D

A horror movie about a man chopping off limbs with a chainsaw should NEVER have a moral. Yes, this movie actually has a moral. What’s the moral? Family sticks together. I’m not joking, that is legitimately the moral at the end of a Texas Chainsaw movie. Not to mention it half-assed defends Leatherface as person, and lets him be some forced type of hero. It’s absurd to think that anyone would actually think to make him a person. Just let him be the scary figure he is. And as for the characters, at least let us get to know the cliche’s before you kill them all! Let us at least TRY to have fun with them! And worst of all, no blood. It’s the most tamed down Texas Chainsaw I’ve seen. This is a piece of crap. 

6. Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

I think this movies biggest flaw is presenting itself with the words “JACKASS PRESENTS”. If I’m paying for a Jackass movie, I wanna see balls in jeopardy, the human body being put through ridiculous torture, and gross out gags. There was hardly ANY of that in this movie. In fact, most of it is obvious puns and sight gags we see coming from a million miles away. Obviously when he’s standing next to an open casket, the casket’s gonna fall. Of course as he’s next to the tall tower of glasses of champagne, they’re going to fall. Since when is Jackass that obvious?? And the worst thing is it was cowritten by Spike Jonze! What happened, man?! In fact, that probably explains the story. Yes, there’s a story. And it tries to make you feel for the characters…when it’s a JACKASS MOVIE. I didn’t pay to hear about a young boy being brought to his deadbeat abusive father. It tries to make you cry. I didn’t pay for that. Just give me what we all really want.

5. The Croods

This movie is about cavemen with the ability to run faster than all of the animals around them, strength to overhand throw a person across a canyon, and ability to go apparently long periods of time without eating, who are too afraid to go outside because predators will kill them…What? The predators, mind you, include a green saber tooth lion with a leaf. There’s a pair of mice that are connected at the tail. Do the creators really think kids will be fooled by these horrendously thought up creatures? And then there’s a sloth. That’s right. A normal sloth. What?! Then there are lines such as “Don’t worry, I’m never trying anything new or different!” (That might not be verbatim, but it’s pretty damn close.) Then there’s dark, unnecessary humor. Why is Nick Cage’s character excited to see his own mother die? Why are there constant shots up our leading girl’s skirt? And don’t get me started on the AWFUL music. Terrible. Just terrible. Everything about this movie. 

4. Battle of the Year

I’d like to take the time now to tell my readers about my love of Playstation. With Playstation Plus, you can receive multiple games every month for you PS3, PS4, and PSVita systems, as well as online gameplay with PS4. Playstation: Greatness Awaits. 

Was that blatant enough product placement? Because it’s exactly the same type of product placement in this awful movie. “Look at my new Sony tablet, it’s 10 inches!” “Check this out, I got a Playstation Vita!” A main character gives gift bags filled with Sony products. It’s awful. And that’s not even the biggest problem with the film. For some reason, different parts of rehearsals are shown in about 4 frames on screen per rehearsal. And it’s supposed to make us see them work hard…for talent they all clearly still have. How about Chris Brown’s awful line “at the beginning, it was all about me…and now…it’s still all about me.” I’m not joking, that’s one of the actual lines from the movie! And it all leads to a freakin boring inspirational speech about teamwork and crap like that. And Josh Peck, who the movie puts as the biggest seller for the movie, does NOTHING in it. He has a handful of lines, says he can dance, and then never dances. Or has any other lines. Add some pointless 3D, and you have yourself one hell of a headache of a movie.

3. Free Birds

Oh George Takei, I want to love you. I want to love everything you do. But what on earth were you thinking signing on to this? This is a movie about two turkey’s who travel back in time after one of them has a vision from turkey god that he will be the one to save turkey’s from being the Thanksgiving staple. Yes, that’s the story. Sub par animation, awful voice acting, incredibly violent imagery for children, and horrendous racism. The turkey’s dress like Native Americans. The turkey’s make spears, and die in a giant fire. They also launch flaming pumpkins at peoples heads. I can’t make this up. Even George Takei’s presence isn’t enough to make me laugh. Even the trademark “oh myyyyy”. This is an abomination.

2. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Why, why oh why did this go wrong?! Come on, Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi are Vegas magicians competing against a street musician played by Jim Carrey?! How can this be bad? I guess all you have to do is make every single character unlikable and weird, if not horrendously stupid. It’s a mean spirited movie too. A dog is crushed and stuffed into somebody’s pants. Jim Carey burns words into his arms. Really, this is what the movie considers funny. Then there’s the revelation of how they perform magic tricks, you know, breaking the first rule of magic. Add some bad music, lame puns, and a pointless story that pokes fun at third world children, and you have yourself one hell of an unbelievable movie. Unbelievably insulting.

1. Man of Steel

Yeah. That’s right. Come at me. But I’m not joking. This is hands down the angriest I’ve ever come out of a theatre. I’m not even gonna write a blurb. Click here to see my review, and you’ll see what makes me think this movie is so awful. There's WAYYY too much to write.

There you have it! What were some movies you hated this year? Let me know!

2013 - The Surprises and Disappointments

Is it already Oscar weekend?! Sheesh. Happy March I guess, I can't believe it's already the end of the movie year! 2013 really just came and went, and as always, it had some huge high points and some disgraceful low points in movies. We all have those movies we go into because a friend drags us. Sometimes we end up liking them! We also have those movies that we get super hyped for, and end up hating them. What movies fit those categories for me, you ask?? Well, you came to the right place! In honor of Oscar weekend, here are my Top 5 Biggest Disappointments, and my Top 5 Nicest Surprises of 2013!

Top 5 Disappointments of 2013

These movies aren't movies that are necessarily the worst this year, and they might not even be that bad. But these are movies that I thought I'd enjoy, and ranked with a 2 or less on my list. It's not based on rank, it's based on how disappointed I was walking out of the theatre with what I saw. Lets just say some of these REALLY pissed me off...

5. Dead Man Down

Dead Man Down looked like it was made for me. Its trailer sold it as a quiet but violent action film, a personal one about a man protecting a woman who was perhaps a bit too naive for the hit she hired him for. It looked like it was picking up a vibe reminiscent of the silence of Drive, with the honesty and believability of a film like The Town. Instead, it was quiet to a fault, never letting the audience feel excited or tense. Unlike the believability of the great movies it reminded me if, it had jarring tonal shifts and a very strange, disjunct script. One moment has us feeling very badly for Noomi Rapace, while other moments had me rolling my eyes at forced drama. Colin Farrell’s character had no personality to speak of, instead opting to have a character that talked more than the driver in Drive, but had no where near as much personality or immediate likability. Overall, Dead Man Down left a whole heck of a lot to be desired. And it wasn’t the worst idea.

4. RED 2

R.E.D was what the first Expendables wanted to be. It was a bunch of well known, type-cast characters put on screen to blow stuff up and kick some butt. And it worked really well, letting the audience laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of Helen Mirren with a machine gun five times her size, enjoy the crazed antics of John Malkovich playing a wonderful John Malkovich, and even had an enjoyable antihero played by Karl Urban. It was a great flick. R.E.D 2 continues the hilarity at first, but quickly fell into a lazy spy thriller with no where near as much heart as the first, which I will grant had the better story in the comic book. But what really killed it was the absolutely awful ending, an ending that not only made no sense in the context of reality, but made no sense in the context of the film. No spoilers, obviously, but it had no regard for audience intelligence or even any grasp on its own made up world. It was a disgracefully lazy ending, and one that took what little enjoyment I had. 

3. World War Z

The idea of a history of a zombie apocalypse told in the style of a history book is fascinating to me, and that’s what had me gravitate towards World War Z as a book. It was a brilliant idea, written in such a way that we could grasp onto the emotion of our main character writing this account, while also feeling our inner history-buff get excited as if we were back in high school learning about our favorite war, or presidential era. And honestly, I think that’s already a great set up for a movie. Why not let one character be controlling the events around him through interviews and personal accounts? Why is this wrong? It would give such a strong sense of a new form of society. But no, what we got was a generic zombie action thriller, neither adding all that much to nor taking away anything from my favorite guilty pleasure genre. (Not that guilty, though.) The final act in particular, which had been rewritten after the filming had finished, felt rushed, senseless, and too conclusive for the trilogy that was apparently planned. The most that can be said is that it has two sequences that I will fervently defend as two of the best shots of zombies we’ve ever seen. But even so, I’ll pick 28 Days Later and even Shaun of the Dead for both scares and emotion. Heck, after playing The Last Of Us, my zombie standards are incredibly high.  

2. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

I loved the first Hobbit, and I know I’m definitely a minority on that. I had a lot of fun with it. It seemed to capture the change in audience rather perfectly, showing how The Hobbit was written to be a children’s book far more than the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, it had fun special effects, and even the high film rate, while a bit pointless, was cool and kind of trippy to watch. I’ll defend the first one. But this was a disgrace. Any sense of necessity for it to be a trilogy is completely gone. The length of this movie is really felt, something that I feel can’t be said about any of the previous LOTR films. Not to mention an incredibly cartoony dragon, one that didn’t work with the for some reason more adult focused content than the previous film. It had a horrendously pointless cliffhanger, one that felt jarring compared to every other ending in this massive series of films. There were moments that made me laugh out loud for not making any sense at all. Plus the complete lack of appreciation for dwarves pissed me off. Generally speaking, dwarves in fantasy cinema are always a punch line, joked about for their height and abrasiveness. But the first Hobbit treated them as characters, with moments of comedy that could fit any person or creature, not just dwarves. But in this, we’re right back to laughing at their stature, a big step back considering the roles of dwarves in the books and fantasy in general. I can’t defend this movie at all. The Hobbit is officially on par with the Star Wars prequel trilogy in my mind.

1. Oz: The Great and Powerful

I think if there was one movie I was looking forward to the most this year, it was actually this. Sam Raimi has proven himself again and again as a smart director, and I loved the idea this film had, even though Wicked was probably the more obvious film adaptation to go with. At first the wizard was cast as Robert Downey Jr., which I loved even more. But James Franco was a very acceptable choice. So what pissed me off? Well lets start out with the treatment of women. We have a kingdom completely ruled by two twisted, conniving women. And what tears them apart? A man. Seriously? That’s the angle you’re going to go with? And a horrendously unlikable man at that. He meets a little girl made of glass china, in China Town (which is not nearly as clever or whimsical as the original Wizard of Oz creatures), and refers to her for the rest of the film as China Girl. That’s horrendous. It’s like calling me Colombian Critic or something like that, never asking for a name and never showing a way of life or personality. And when we get her personality, it’s an ANNOYING little piece of crap. There isn’t a single likable character in this damn movie. Even our good witch Glinda played by Michelle Williams, is a HUGE step backwards both for the good witch and for Williams. The one witch who’s good is completely powerless, and looks only to have a man solve her problems, is also a ditzy, air headed looney. So much for respect to women. This film is garbage, and it’s so sad. But then again, I can’t expect any movie in Oz to be good. They never answer the fundamental question - How can Oz be real if it was all in Dorothy’s dream?!

Top 10 Nicest Surpises of 2013

We all have them - those movies that we go into with a friend, or on a half hearted date, or because you force yourself to see every movie you can possibly see. We're not expecting anything. And then, BOOM! You have a great time! These are the five movies that had low expectations, and left me feeling satisfied and very happy with the outcome. Each of these movies has to rank at 3.5 or higher. So what were they?!

5. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (sortof...)

I was looking forward to Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters for the dumb reasons. I thought it was going to be utter crap, and a movie I was going to love to hate. Well, when we went to see it, we had a GREAT time. It was hilariously funny, and sure, it wasn’t good. But it really did have a strong sense of the kind of movie it was trying to be. Never once did it take itself so seriously that it felt forced or inorganic as fantasy, but it was also so stupid that it’s impossible not to laugh it. Equally brilliant as they were stupid plot points, such as Hansel having diabetes from eating too much candy, are so easy to appreciate and crack up at. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton both take this movie with a lightheartedness that works, and it looks like they’re really having fun with what’s going on in this absurd story. I just can’t say anything bad about it, I had such a great time! And I’ll absolutely defend this movie to the bloody, arrow machine gun heavy, holy water induced death!

4. Disconnect

I think what made Disconnect such a surprise was the circumstances in which I watched it. I had time between rehearsals at my school, and decided to just go see something. Disconnect? Jason Bateman? Yeah I’ll give it a shot…and I’m glad I did. Disconnect is an incredibly heart wrenching three part story - Bateman’s son is cyber bullied to the worst type of extreme, a reporter tries to make a news report about underage exploitation of internet strippers, and Alexander Skaarsgard and Paula Patton track down someone who stole their identity in order to save their financial situation, and their marriage. This third story was the lowest part of the movie, having a really unbelievable story that makes pretty much no sense. But even then, the actors put 100% into everything they do, and that really saves it. The ending of it, despite the ridiculousness, is touching and satisfying. And the other two stories take you on a trip really unlike any other I’ve ever experienced at the movies. It’s a beautiful, sad, exciting, and all around beautiful movie. 

3. Oldboy

I didn’t have expectations for Oldboy, not even knowing early on that it was a remake of a Japanese film. But it looked like a great idea about to go horribly wrong, an emotional story confined to the parameters of a marketable action film. But what I got was an equally smart as it was disturbing film, with an amazing performance by Josh Brolin, and an awesome creepy performance by Sharlto Copely. Again, I hadn’t seen the original, but I’ve heard this movie kind of dumbs down the violence. If that’s the case, I’m not sure how I’d feel about the violence in the original. I thought the level of violence was pretty great, making Brolin look like a badass, a smart fighter, a little twisted, and frightening all at the same time. It worked on every level of shock and cool factor, especially one particular torture scene with Sam Jackson. All in all, this movie really impressed me, and maybe I had let myself dumb down just enough, but I didn’t see the ending coming, and it made my jaw drop.

2. Turbo

A movie about a snail who wants to race in the Indy 500…Um…what? That might be one of the dumbest movies I’ve EVER heard of. How could this possibly work effectively? Well for starters, the movie can give our snail its ability to move so fast in a clever, super hero origin style backstory. It makes no sense, but it’s so darn clever and adorable I couldn’t help but like it. Add some impressive animation, super fun characters (one in particular fantastic performance by Bill Hader, and a funny cameo from Snoop Dogg), and a clever story of how Turbo made it to the race, and you have a shockingly likable movie. It’s sweet, clever, and just all around a fun flick. It’s sad it really didn’t do well at the box office, I would have loved to see some sequels.

1. Warm Bodies

Okay, so there’s a book about a zombie falling in love with a human by eating the brains of her ex-boyfriend…? And Simon Pegg liked it?? Oh the conflict…To love everything Simon Pegg defends, or to look at this for what it was probably going to be…It was tough going into this movie. But this movie wasn’t the corny romance I thought it would be. No, it managed to be successful both as an awesome demonstration of new ideas about zombies and as a fun little romance flick. One particular moment of brilliance is Bonies, when a zombie becomes so distressed he eats the flesh off of his own body, leaving a deformed skeleton behind. This is an amazingly creepy and actually very sad idea. Meanwhile, the romance isn’ heavy handed or stupid. Instead, it keeps itself in the context of two teenagers with a crush, that just happens to be a potentially enormous step forward both for science and zombie societies. Sure, it’s corny. But it’s just so cute, and Nicholas Hoult is just so good, it’s impossible to not find yourself sucked into the cuteness of this film.