A Good Day to Die Hard

1.5/5

Plain and simple - if you are going to see this for bad-ass Bruce Willis and the joy of things blowing up, you're gonna have fun. If you're like me, and you're going into it because Die Hard was a brilliant movie and the sequels were all good, then you're going to be seriously disappointed. I don't really get it, this whole movie starts with Willis going to rescue his son, and then he ends up in Chrenobyl with some cover up about the reactor, which isn't really explained, I dunno, I was completely lost. I didn't really enjoy the action scenes, were were far too big far too soon. It left me feeling let down by the climax. Bruce Willis's age is showing, too. That's not to say he's not fun in The Expendables or Red, which I LOVED him in. Go have fun, I guess. But if you respect the first Die Hard and have any respect for the series, rather than just pure enjoyment for the action, you're gonna be seriously disappointed.

Escape From Planet Earth.

1/5

This is a perfect example of an animated movie that I hate. I love animation, but if you make a movie thinking of your audience as stupid, there is nothing worth respecting in it. This catered down to the youngest audience with lame puns we've all heard before, bad physical comedy, lame looking and unoriginal aliens, stupid pop culture references, flat looking animation, and a horribly forced conclusion. The voice cast in this was all pretty atrocious, including Jane Lynch. That's really upsetting considering she just showed us really great voice acting in Wreck It Ralph. The story opening is rushed and stupid. It would have been far more effective with just an extra 15 minutes to introduce us to these aliens and their culture. That would have made it far more interesting, even if it is just a whimsical alien society. When I think of a well presented aliens society in animated movies, I think Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. That set up the entire culture of the alien race so quickly and effectively, and yet we hardly noticed it. That's effective. All in all, I'd wait for the rest of the animated movies coming out this year. This was obnoxious.

Beautiful Creatures

2.5/5

Why is it that ripoffs or cash-ins of Twilight are better? That's kinda saying something about your series, Twilight. That being said, this movie isn't good. But it's not bad. I was entertained. I certainly liked the two main characters FAR more than I liked Bella and Edward. Our leading guy was surprisingly likable and kind hearted, even if he was a bit of a stale character. Our leading girl was way cooler than Edward was if we're comparing the two mythological beings. And what's more, she was FAR prettier than Kristen Stewart, I thought anyway. The story had some tension to it, unlike Twilight where I simply did not care what was going to happen. I liked the believability of the relationship too. It seemed far less like Twilight where of course the love is meant to be. It really feels more like a high school romance, and that's far more appreciated than a forced true love romance. And what's more, I actually didn't see the ending coming. That was a surprise. I don't get it. Warm Bodies, and this. Both better than the movies they're obviously trying to make money from. And yet there's talks of already rebooting Twilight. Way to go, producers. Way to go.

Identity Thief

2/5

I mean...it wasn't good. It was filled with bad jokes, characters were annoying, it was so convoluted of a story in such a plausible and serious context that it was borderline insulting. The plot was ridiculous and so stupid it almost lost me,  So why two stars? Because it's just SO DAMN HARD to hate Jason Bateman! I mean seriously, he is the most charming, likable and goodhearted man alive. I couldn't NOT love what he was doing, he kept making me laugh and making me smile. I loved him. And it took such a mediocre film with really not all that much to offer and made it a fun popcorn flick. Gotta love the Bateman, right? Apparently it really was enough to help save the movie for me.

Side Effects

2/5

I do not understand America's obsession with Steven Soderbergh. He made great movies in the past, but Contagion? Haywire? Magic Mike? Why did people love these movies so much? This was probably a step above the others. But It's mostly because of Rooney Mara and Jude Law. Everyone else in this movie was pretty terrible. And the story was so close to being interesting, except that I called every step from the beginning. A soon as a particular character was introduced, I called everything. And for a movie thats being advertised as having an enormous amount of "twists and turns" and "shocking", I got pissed. No one in this movie is relatable, I care about nobody. And Thomas Newman, who did the music, did a great job...but it was ruined by the editing. Just like Haywire, the same music plays over and over and over again, until you wanna bash your head into the wall. I know, America loves his movies. And people like this a lot more than I did. But oh well. They tried. I guess.

Warm Bodies

 3.5/5

Who would have guessed? This movie looked awful. Then I learned it was directed and written by the guy who wrote 50/50, and that Simon Pegg loved the book. This wasn't that bad at all. First of all, I love the idea of "bonies", or zombies that have, in desperation for food, eaten their own flesh off their bodies, so that all that remains is a skeletal shape with tissue being the only covering. It's really creepy. You also hear ideas like, eating the brains of an individual giving the zombie their memories, and think wow...that's dumb. But it works surprisingly effectively, and is and understandably euphoric experience for the zombie. My biggest problem? It wasn't funny enough. I wanted this to be much more comedic than it was. But, then again, it was still much better than I anticipated. It'd definitely be a fun date movie.