Men In Black III

2.5/5

I liked it. It was definitely better than the last one. But it really doesn't prove to me that we needed another sequel. More-so, it was super slow in the middle. Really? A slow MIB movie? I'm sure no one wanted that. I even started dozing off. It didn't really hold itself as a comeback of MIB either. It picked up as if there was no time difference between the second and third movies. And it had significantly less alien problems. Really, there wasn't nearly as much alien activity as there was in the last two. And that's what I wanted. I missed the cool designs filling the screen. I missed the crazy concepts they had for alien powers. There was some of it in this movie, and I suppose enough, but for me, I wanted a lot more of the craziness. And the final scene really sucked. It ruined a lot of my feelings towards it, after being mildly satisfied afterwards. But it's nice nostalgic fun. I'm sure you'll enjoy it and get over the bit of letdown.

Chernobyl Diaries

2/5

It wasn't horrible, but it definitely wasn't what I'm sure people want. I appreciate the creepy idea, but there are some issues...like the fact that homeless people and those who came back illegally DO live in the area. Jesse McCartney was awful, as was the rest of the cast. For the most part, it just wasn't scary. There were one or two creepy(ish) parts, but for the most part there were no jumps or screams. I felt a decent amount of suspense but was let down every time. The people monster things were never shown, which was silly considering thats all we wanted to see. Silly plot points, the obligatory marriage proposal, etc. It's pretty lame.

Dark Shadows

0.5/5

We walked out. Simple as that. This was awful. And look at that! It's his worst reviewed movie on Rotten Tomatoes! I'm so unimpressed with new Tim Burton. It goes beyond style and becomes hokey and silly. This had no credibility anywhere, even with any suspense of disbelief. It had an atrocious script and terrible delivery of every line. Depp gives by far his worst performance of any of his movies I've ever seen. The opening scene is completely silly and lead to a lot of laughter in my theatre. And it hardly worked! It would have been far more appropriate as a flashback scene, or exposition after Depp was unburied. We walked out after a completely forced scene of character development between Depp and the obligatory father figure. I asked the ending and was completely satisfied to have not watched it. It's bad people. Don't let Depp or Burton deceive you, I'm waiting for Frankenweenie, maybe then my hope in Burton will return.

The Dictator

 1.5/5

First of all, it wasn't the racism or incredible insensitivity that got to me. In fact, I have to hand it to the  movie for the two or three funny jokes that had me smile. It was the rest of the humor. No point in this movie really had me laughing. The jokes were insulting, but none of them were all that clever or all that memorable. And that's the biggest problem with this movie. You can't have a movie that's outright trying to be insulting and trying to be somewhat political be forgettable. Most of the movie kindof forgets what it's main purpose was to begin with - we go from essentially a political coup to Cohen trying to get a girl to fall in love with him. Frankly, I'd like to see the first story. Especially when that includes Ben Kingsley. Seriously, why not focus on that story. I like Ben Kingsley. A lot of people will find this really funny. An equal or larger amount of people will find this really insulting. Me, I dunno. I'm wondering if I'll remember half of it come next week.

Battleship

1/5

If we're going to compare this to the Transformers movie because of the Hasbro license, it's unquestionably the worse of the two. While Transformers wasn't exactly brilliance, it really encompassed the childhood imagination of the toy line, with enough similarities to the cartoons for the diehard fans. This...first off I don't think that there was a protest in Hollywood screaming for a Battleship movie. Second, it really didn't have anything to do with the game. In fact, it only had a small association with an actual battleship. Everyone in it was just awful, each of them their own emotionless, cutout bag of emptiness. Liam Neeson is someone to get excited about, until you learn he's in the movie for all of 7 minutes. Seriously, he's barely there. Some of the CGI was fun enough, but the aliens themselves were really lame. The technology was boring too. This advanced alien race only had three weapons used at sea. The aliens themselves were boring looking. The script was riddled with strange plot holes. Why exactly was it that this alien race who came from a planet the same size, distance from the sun, and atmosphere as earth and are roughly the same size, couldn't handle sunlight? And if any bright light was dangerous, why on earth was their ship covered and laced with incredibly bright lights? All in all, this is one to skip. Go see The Avengers again.