Premium Rush

4.5/5

What this movie lacks in complete originality and a bit awkward storytelling, it completely makes up for in a few really great plot points, an amazing thrill ride, and yet another great performance from Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He's just fantastic, and one of my favorite actors in Hollywood. I don't want to get too much into the plot of this, but I will say this - it's an interesting story, if not for the actual plot than for an interesting look at a group of people not really extensively looked at. It has great appreciation for the occupation it features, its dangers and its difficulty. It has a lot of heart pounding chases and races, all of which really kept my attention. The best part is an unbelievably spot on sense of humor that caught me off guard. The audience was really laughing hard at both the one line jokes and the great quirky supporting characters. This movie will really put a smile on your face, and possibly make you feel a nice array of emotions. It'll probably be on my top 5 pleasant surprises of the year!

Hit and Run

2/5

Eh. Just eh. It's not funny enough to be really funny and it's not exciting enough to be exciting. It's not what people wanted to see - it was trying to be too serious. Some jokes hit, most missed. A bunch of characters seemed pointless. And my biggest problem - the whole thing could be solved if they just CALLED THE POLICE. And that gets to you after a while. They have to run from a stalker? "Hello 911. I have someone stalking me on this highway after this exit. Thank you." "Hello 911? I'm in the witness protection program and my identity has been compromised to people who want to kill me. I'm here, traveling this direction. Thanks." Seriously, that's annoying, and it happens too many times. There's also a character who's gay. That goes nowhere. It's there for a few cheap laughs from a character trait, and that gets a bit annoying. There's another character that's his friend. What's her story? Oh nothing. She's just his partner. I guess its okay she doesn't have a forced character trait. The marshall? Again, no purpose. Except he keeps messing up. Nothing really works, at least with the humor.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

0.5/5

Attention all people who suffer from lactose intolerance or any other form of dairy allergy - stay away from this movie. It really forces the cheese down your throat. I mean, my god. This is absurd. First of all, the premise. Second of all, the framing device. Third of all...EVERYTHING ELSE. Some absurdly forced negative lines toward adopted children (for anyone reading this who doesn't know it, I'm adopted. Negative notions towards adopted children don't fly with me), an absurd suspension of disbelief about every 5 seconds, and being forced to like such a detestable character. The boy PHOTOSYNTHESIZES. That's right, he stands out in the sun and PHOTOSYNTHESIZES. THATS RIDICULOUS. And it raises more questions - why did he eat the cookie in the beginning?! That's right, there's something in this movie that made an 8 year old kid eating a cookie unrealistic. An absolutely ridiculous demonstration of how adoption works in this country, a forced romance with no dramatic tension whatsoever, stupid portrayals of how middle school kids act, the obnoxiously predictable tongue in cheek "oops" moments, the fact that this entire story, or at least the first half of it, took place in the span of maybe a few days...GOD. The idea that a boy loses his leaves...did those words come out of my mouth!? How about that a boy can't kick a soccer ball. It's not like he had any mental deficiency that severely hindered his motor skills or a sever medical disability, i've NEVER seen a young boy with the inability to kick a soccer ball. How come his leaves couldn't be removed?! YOU CAN TAKE LEAVES OFF OF A TREE. IT WORKS. GO TRY IT. I can go on. And on. And on. AND ON. Forget this movie. GO SEE SPARKLE. I skipped sparkle thinking that this would be better. OHHH boy.

The Expendables 2

3.5/5

What an improvement. The first Expendables movie was just absolute garbage, and one of my most hated movies of the year. I didn't think it delivered. Familiar faces lacked any character. The story was so confusing and so forced it had no tension to it whatsoever. There were so many explosions that the tongue-in-cheek humor was lost from the noise. THIS is what I was expecting the first movie to be. A plot with a relatively coherent story, with each actor playing their typecast role that we all recognize, and enough silence for the humor of these action movie giants all being together. Granted, it had a bunch of plot holes that kinda bugged me, but most of them I could forgive for the nostalgic cheese. I had some trouble understanding why these action heroes who could get out of any situation couldn't get out of the situation that started the whole movie, but I guess that normally happens too. What that scene did do that I really loved, however, is set up that these soldiers who can do no wrong are human. This added more tension to their survival and success, despite the fact that we're seeing the absolute dream team of actors on screen. It's a lot of fun, definitely more fun than the first, with a lot of perfect one liners and super silly moments to keep everyone pretty happy.

ParaNorman

4.5/5

I really enjoyed this. It was one of my top anticipations for the year. Think about it. A stop motion zombie movie. Doesn't that just sound AWESOME?! I loved the Norman character, vulnerable but strong willed, and easily likable. I wish we could have seen more of Neil, his only friend, but the supporting characters as a whole were a ton of fun to follow. The premise is frightening, sweet, silly, and emotional. The turns this movie takes are rather interesting to follow, and it's really cool how it deviates from standard horror movie plots. The scares are actually frightening too! There's lots of really great imagery and moments that make you gasp, not out of shock but out of thoughtful fear. It's what I miss in a lot of movies, and it's welcome here. There's a plot hole here and there that prevent me from thinking of it as brilliance, and I really wanted it to be longer with more of a secondary plot thread, but it really made me think a lot and had me tearing up. Check it out!

Total Recall

2/5

It was fun, but not enough. It was cool, but not enough. It completely lacked charisma, something that Arnold had the entire time in the original. It lacked ridiculousness, something else that made up the original. But in a lot of ways, I enjoyed the seriousness. It made it more fun, kept me more interested. But it completely lacked in character. Everything was so boring and so dull. No one really seemed to be trying. It also did very little to explain itself, rather cramming every bit of exposition into the first minute of the movie. Granted, a lot of movies do this. But that doesn't mean I ever like it. The fact is Colin Farrell just isn't a good replacement for Arnold. Why not pick a more prominent action hero and keep the integrity of the era the original came out? Why not Tom Hardy (who was considered for the role), Chris Hemsworth, even freakin Nick Cage? Heck, Arnold himself showed interest in reprising the role! It was a total miscast, but a decent effort.

The Watch

2/5

I mean...I dunno. I was expecting a lot worse? I know I've been super behind on my trailer screenings (its been a hectic month for me), but in summary, this movie was one that looked a lot better than I knew it was ever going to be. I liked the cast, it seemed like a nice silly premise, it seemed harmless enough. Then you start thinking about it and realize this is not going to be a good movie. But for a bad movie, it had me laugh a few times. Granted, this joke lacks a true sense of humor. It mostly finds its laughs in sperm, sex, and penis jokes. Those get old quick. But Jonah Hill has a lot of fun on screen, and it's already funny that his backstory includes rejection from the police force after he was in 21 Jump Street earlier this year. Everyone else was meh, but meh enough that it wasn't entirely boring. The aliens were fine, even if their whole destruction at the end was a little forced. The whole story was predictable but I don't think anyone's going into this looking for a new story. The motivation for the aliens kinda sucks, but then again so does the motivation to make this movie so what're you gonna do. I dunno. It's fine. If you like lots and lots of penis jokes and have the attention span and sense of humor of a middle schooler, you'll probably like it a lot more than I did. If you want something with smarts, you'll find a handful of genuine jokes in this, but don't get your hopes up for that many laughs.