Skyfall

4.5/5

It's officially Bond at his best. This is possibly my favorite James Bond movie. It felt real, but it felt like Bond. It was silly, but it was easily taken seriously. I loved the little Bond silly moments, the one liners were all fun, it was just so enjoyable. There was a really fun sense of suspense and adventure. It had some great action scenes, but the best scenes were the slow paced thoughtful moments of character development. I especially loved the opening sequence, which might be my favorite opening to a Bond movie now (with the first Adele song I actually like! How about that). It's really got a great tone, and it left me feeling not just good, but it left me feeling really excited for the next bond films. Daniel Craig is phenomenal as usual, of course.

Flight

3/5

Everyone thinks this movie is great. Roger Ebert gave this movie a 4, his highest rating. I don't know...I liked it? But I definitely didn't love it. I felt the acting was good enough to get by, but far from being dynamite or Oscar worthy. I thought the story was interesting, but too predictable for my taste, even at the parts trying to be unpredictable. The direction shined in some places, and fell flat in others. Musically, it wasn't too interesting. Seriously, I thought the best part was John Goodman, who wasn't in it too much anyway. There were one or two scenes in particular I remember the audience laughing at. I'm pretty sure no one was supposed to be laughing during those scenes. It was good, it was interesting enough, but I wouldn't go as far as to call it brilliance or Oscar worthy.

Wreck-It Ralph

5/5

I. Loved. This. Movie. The best animated movie I've seen since Toy Story 3. It was passionate, honest, and real. It was a story that wasn't terribly original, which let the audience latch on, in a world that left me itching to learn more, filled with clever and funny moments, as well as a few great heartfelt ones. I loved the idea of internal gaming-societies viewing glitches, the idea of a bad-guy support group in particular was incredibly funny to me. I managed to catch the movie in 3D, and let me say the 3D was also phenomenal. It really sucked me into this video game world, with enough change to recognize when I was supposed to be in it, and when I was supposed to be on the outside looking in. I loved the obvious passion for video games that went into this. The division of world by genre was flawless, with the obvious enjoyment of each video game style from each being perfectly captured. Clearly, the creators loved the video games they referenced and tried their hardest to make the greatest video game movie ever made. And they succeeded. It's exciting, fun, clever, and lovable. I'll be getting this the day it's on bluray, and if it doesn't win the Oscar I'll be shocked.

Cloud Atlas

3.5/5

I liked it. I did. It's a brilliant idea translated well to film. The idea works. The connections of all the lives are interesting, passionately told and acted, and relevant. That being said...I didn't care about anyone. I was sucked into the concept like I was listening to a well written lecture on the idea - but I had no care for anyone except far future Tom Hanks and his family and Sonmi 451. The movie was large, but not large enough to generate any real emotion other than perhaps a touch of situational drama (sure, forbidden love is sad, but why should I care about you inparticular?). I also hated the terrible Asian makeup. That made no sense to me. The movie is about souls connecting, and people reincarnating. NOT about physical bodies reincarnating. And that brought confusion - how was it Sonmi 451 was related to Tom Hanks, but Tom Hanks of that time period wasn't related to any other version of himself? I dunno. Maybe I'm overthinking it? But a movie that wants to be incredibly intelligent has to be analyzed. And I find a bit too much wrong with this movie to think of it as brilliant. It's an interesting topic presented well, but not emotionally interesting.

Argo

5/5

This movie was nothing short of an absolute success of filmmaking. It was tense, organic, suspenseful, and there was barely any action in it. Ben Affleck, who I used to hate, has proven himself again to be an incredibly talented film maker, really mastering suspense and embracing his own tone even through the relatively straightforward (albeit monumentally important) story. This movie had a dynamite cast, all giving exactly what was needed to make their character memorable and important. I loved the pace, which was matched by a soft tone that kept me intrigued. There's really not much else to say - this was amazing. Go see it, it's my new favorite of the year!

Seven Psychopaths

4/5

I had a LOT of fun in this. It was really funny, predictable enough for me to feel satisfied while not being so stupidly predictable that I felt spoken down too. It had a really fun sense of a humor, a quick, smart script, and a surprisingly entertaining spark of adventure. It had a bunch of really great performances, props especially to Sam Rockwell and Woody Harrelson, both of whom I really love. The introduction of the seven while the movie itself is being portrayed essentially as a movie script was clever and less annoying than you'd think it would be. I really liked how each of these people really did seem insane, despite hollywood really watering down the psychopathic person's actions to a point where it doesn't really make me think twice anymore. It's really fun, and if anything a really weird experience of escapism for such an out-of-body idea for me.

Taken 2

1/5

What a waste of a movie. I'll start off admitting I didn't love Taken as much as the rest of America seemed to. But I'll admit that it had a soft suspense to it, awesome action sequences, and a lot of heart. But this..UGH. Forget suspense, I had no moment that I doubted Liam Neeson's success. Hollywood seems to not realize that a bad-ass character is created when they overcome extreme adversary - NOT when we have no doubt in our mind that they'll succeed. Seriously - go watch the best action movies. And what took even more away from the suspense was the god awful music. The first movie had barely any music in it - this was over scored, too loud, and very poorly written. Moments that could have been really nice were forced down our throat as one emotion or another. I hated it. As for the fight sequences. WHAT HAPPENED. Everything failed. Camera's were too close to understand anything going on, the fights were lazy and stupid, and at no point is Neeson's safety threatened. Unlike the first where there were rather gruesome images (the electrocution scene, anyone?), there was NOTHING in this. It was so stupid and boring, and a complete waste of my time. Watch the first Taken and be happy.

Frankenweenie

4.5/5

This was the creepiest side of magical I can remember in recent years. Thank you Tim Burton, for FINALLY giving us something good again. Rather than experience the obvious creepiness of the movie, I felt pulled along by Victor as he went through his depression over the loss of his pet. My desire to see him bring Sparky back was as strong as his own, instead of questioning the complete disregard for nature's cycle. It had a nice style to it, maybe a bit blunt by being black and white for the entire movie, but I liked it fine. Maybe it was a little bit heavy handed in its obvious homages to Frankenstein (by naming our main character Victor Frankenstein...ugh). But it's filled with obvious passion and attention, and with an easily loved main character and his puppy, it kept me motivated. It's sad, it's scary, and it's NOT for kids. And it has my favorite line of the year so far, in a nutshell saying that people like the things that science gives us, but not the questions it asks. It leaves to wonder - what if we could actually raise the dead?

The Master

2.5/5

I read that this is a movie for only intelligent movie goers. I consider myself a pretty intelligent filmgoer.  More so, I recognized and understood the symbolism I caught, the story was simply understood to me, the characters were intriguing...at the end of it, however, I was annoyed. Not with lack of intelligence, not with the acting (which was, to be fair, phenomenal). I was annoyed with how purposeless it all felt. Nothing rang as necessary, nothing felt important and sadly nothing felt real. It had beautiful cinematography, with not much else to back it up. That's what a lot of people have told me about past works - look at the pretty pictures, get over everything else, and you'll have a good movie experience. But that's impossible with this. Everything holds itself on such a pedestal and with such unnecessary importance that I can't forgive it. I'll give some major props to Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour-Hoffman, and Amy Adams. Each of them do deserve an Oscar nom in their respective category.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

4.5/5

I never read the book, but I really loved this. What could have been another over-told story about the unpopular kid turned into a heartfelt exploration of a boy who actually was misunderstood. It's told in such a way that his heartbreaking story was actually a surprise to me when it was revealed. And that lead to a very emotional movie. It didn't waste time either portraying our main character as a whiney spoiled brat or a misunderstood genious. Rather, it actually portrayed him as average, even in his own mind, and simple in his desires.  Instead of blasting us with a cliche story of high school, it gives us a very nostalgic idea of what high school was like, at least for me. And I had friends in high school. I loved Emma Watson, who while not entirely distinguishing herself as an actress in my mind is still far from unlikable and untalented. The music was also very pretty, with a particularly great soundtrack to the whole thing. There's a lot to talk about from this movie, both about high school and humanity in its simplicity and complexity. It worked, really well.

Hotel Transylvania

3/5

Totally gotta admit, I was expecting SO much worse out of this. Especially since we saw Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler in a movie that fell flat on its face earlier this year. It looked mildly funny, mostly annoying, and silly. The only saving grace was that it was from Sony Animation, the studio that gave us Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs...but also gave us The Smurfs. So basically, not much to expect. Maybe that's what saved it. Just like Cloudy, it takes a lot of cliche's from its genre and parodies them in a nice, simple and effective way. That leaves it satisfying to both adults and kids. Where this movie fails is perhaps too many fart and simple jokes, unlike Cloudy where there was a really nice balance. But the voice cast was nice and fun, I liked the fun punches at the horror genre, the story was simple but fun and silly. I really loved the relationship developing between Dracula and Johnny, and the idea of humans loving monsters today, with a particularly funny jab at Twilight. It's a fun movie and would actually be a fun date movie. In fact my girlfriend really seemed to enjoy it. It's definitely worth a watch.

Looper

4.5/5

This was a near perfect movie. It was exciting, thought provoking, and very well performed. It suffered from the same issue as Inception, though - it was POSSIBLY too smart for its own good. I say possibly because unlike Inception, I can think of intelligent reasons behind all the possibly unintelligent moments, and at the time of writing this review, I'm just not sure if I'm overthinking it or thinking about it just right. I can't go into too much of the detail of it, because it would expose the ending, but the ending comes down to this question - is there a fairly large loophole, or is the point of the movie that nothing changes? I'll let you think about it if/when you see it. Regardless, although it's not his greatest performance even this year, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is great as always. We have a great performance and character from Bruce Willis, and a really nice performance from Emily Blunt. The story is new, interesting, a nice twist to what possibly could have been predictable or cliche. I like the world, even if it is a bit bluntly explained in the beginning. It's worth a watch, hopefully (for your sake of enjoying the movie), you don't notice the potential plot holes. Enjoy. 

Trouble With The Curve

2/5

I wanted this to be better than it was. Eastwood wasn't that good. Adams wasn't that good. The best part of it was Justin Timberlake, who I really enjoy. He wasn't enough to carry this though. It was predictable, it was sappy, it was kindof bothersome after a while. I desperately wanted there to be a point to this story, but I never really saw what was so beautiful or inspiring about this story. Most frustrating of all was the complete lack of urgency to the story. I felt like it was taking its time in a story that didn't need to take its time. It was slow despite a sudden urgency of an imminent draft decision. Simply put, there was no worth in the story that I could find. And since it wasn't true, cliche dramatic elements couldn't be forgiven. After Moneyball last year, this just doesn't remotely compare. In fact, it contradicts what Moneyball was about, which really got to me in a way. I guess I'm biased.

End of Watch

2/5

What an overrated mess. First of all, why on earth does it start off as a found footage film, and very quickly use shots that don't make sense? You can't have a camera used by a main character to shoot the movie unless you can make sure the camera is always in someones hand. Shots above a driving car DON'T WORK. Second, don't show us scenes that serve absolutely no purpose in a movie that's supposed to be suspenseful. Why are we watching Gyllenhaal do jumping jacks on a rooftop? Oh right. Because...? Anyway, I don't know if it was just me, but I really didn't see that much chemistry in Pena and Gyllenhaal. Maybe it's because I simply don't believe that Gyllenhaal would ever be taken seriously as a cop. Giving the gang a camera was obnoxious. We didn't need to see it. Why not just leave them faceless? It would have worked so much better. It was so silly watching them, so pointless. They had no character, and we knew their purpose from the police officers. And the ending...GOD. I could rant about the ending for hours...obviously I won't. I dunno, skip this until you can netflix it if you really wanna watch it.

Dredd

4/5

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. This is EVERYTHING I wanted out of a remake of Judge Dredd. First of all, WHY WOULD YOU REMAKE JUDGE DREDD?! Are there really Dredd nuts screaming for a remake of a super silly movie? Apparently. This was exactly as gritty, as bloody, as silly, as tongue in cheek, and as self aware as a movie like this needs to be. It was like The Raid: Redemption only more predictable (in a fun way),  and a different kind of badass. He had the perfect walk, the perfect voice, and the perfect moments to let himself be corny. I loved the villain, I loved the power she had and the drug she pushed. I loved how the movie didn't try to explain the future but delved into a very graspable story to avoid becoming silly in a science way, keeping itself tongue in cheek in an action way. Sylvester Stallone, I hope you're proud.

Resident Evil: Retribution

1/5

As far as Resident Evil movies go, this didn't bother me as much as the rest. But...well...jeez. It's still stupid. First of all, the plot summary before the movie was dumb...you're showing the audience who has almost surely seen every movie religiously, and you're telling them about everything they've seen? Realistically, how many people are going to see this Resident Evil movie if they haven't seen the previous ones? The action's fun sometimes. Other times, its standard, predictable, nothing special. As far as direction goes, I believe this might have had more slo-mo than any other movie I've ever seen. The entire opening scene is a slo-mo reverse scene...which we then see again? Why did we have to see that? All in all, its what you expect. So don't see it.

The Words

1.5/5

Admittedly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But, it was still pretty dumb. It was incredibly predictable, filled with obvious plot moments, and silly realizations. More so, it was in a framing device, that then became ANOTHER framing device. It was annoying, confusing, and pointless. The first framing device, Dennis Quaid's character, is incredibly frustrating. He's supposed to be a brilliant writer, and yet the words that come out of his mouth are blunt, lacking detail, and boring. Bradley Cooper was fine, but the film forces us to like him whether we want to or not. Zoe Saldana was pointless, and nothing special anyway. Jeremy Irons had a long, rambling, uninteresting flashback that simply bored the audience. Oh well. It was a nice try, and I appreciate the attempt to write a script with such subject matter. However, it has to be done with care - how can you write a script about a story that's supposed to be brilliant without essentially forcing yourself to call your own story brilliant?

Lawless

3/5

I have to give the movie a lot of credit for its handful of great performances (Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Daniel DeHaan, and Guy Pearce specifically). But most of the movie I was frustrated. Why did I need to be told this story? For someone like me who doesn't know the intricacies of the prohibition bootleggers, it really wasn't clear until the end that the significance of this story was. And that was its downfall. It was a story with a lot of style, but no real point to it for a long time. And, I hate to say this, but all of the great acting was brought down a notch by Shia LaBeouf. Why, oh why is he acting? He was overacting or he was just annoying. And I can think of a few choice actors to replace him with, who also more closely resembled the other two brothers (my top choice being Andrew Garfield). All in all, it's one a lot of people are going to appreciate the grittiness, but that's really about all this had to it. The performances are enough to raise it a fair amount in my ranking.

Premium Rush

4.5/5

What this movie lacks in complete originality and a bit awkward storytelling, it completely makes up for in a few really great plot points, an amazing thrill ride, and yet another great performance from Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He's just fantastic, and one of my favorite actors in Hollywood. I don't want to get too much into the plot of this, but I will say this - it's an interesting story, if not for the actual plot than for an interesting look at a group of people not really extensively looked at. It has great appreciation for the occupation it features, its dangers and its difficulty. It has a lot of heart pounding chases and races, all of which really kept my attention. The best part is an unbelievably spot on sense of humor that caught me off guard. The audience was really laughing hard at both the one line jokes and the great quirky supporting characters. This movie will really put a smile on your face, and possibly make you feel a nice array of emotions. It'll probably be on my top 5 pleasant surprises of the year!

Hit and Run

2/5

Eh. Just eh. It's not funny enough to be really funny and it's not exciting enough to be exciting. It's not what people wanted to see - it was trying to be too serious. Some jokes hit, most missed. A bunch of characters seemed pointless. And my biggest problem - the whole thing could be solved if they just CALLED THE POLICE. And that gets to you after a while. They have to run from a stalker? "Hello 911. I have someone stalking me on this highway after this exit. Thank you." "Hello 911? I'm in the witness protection program and my identity has been compromised to people who want to kill me. I'm here, traveling this direction. Thanks." Seriously, that's annoying, and it happens too many times. There's also a character who's gay. That goes nowhere. It's there for a few cheap laughs from a character trait, and that gets a bit annoying. There's another character that's his friend. What's her story? Oh nothing. She's just his partner. I guess its okay she doesn't have a forced character trait. The marshall? Again, no purpose. Except he keeps messing up. Nothing really works, at least with the humor.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

0.5/5

Attention all people who suffer from lactose intolerance or any other form of dairy allergy - stay away from this movie. It really forces the cheese down your throat. I mean, my god. This is absurd. First of all, the premise. Second of all, the framing device. Third of all...EVERYTHING ELSE. Some absurdly forced negative lines toward adopted children (for anyone reading this who doesn't know it, I'm adopted. Negative notions towards adopted children don't fly with me), an absurd suspension of disbelief about every 5 seconds, and being forced to like such a detestable character. The boy PHOTOSYNTHESIZES. That's right, he stands out in the sun and PHOTOSYNTHESIZES. THATS RIDICULOUS. And it raises more questions - why did he eat the cookie in the beginning?! That's right, there's something in this movie that made an 8 year old kid eating a cookie unrealistic. An absolutely ridiculous demonstration of how adoption works in this country, a forced romance with no dramatic tension whatsoever, stupid portrayals of how middle school kids act, the obnoxiously predictable tongue in cheek "oops" moments, the fact that this entire story, or at least the first half of it, took place in the span of maybe a few days...GOD. The idea that a boy loses his leaves...did those words come out of my mouth!? How about that a boy can't kick a soccer ball. It's not like he had any mental deficiency that severely hindered his motor skills or a sever medical disability, i've NEVER seen a young boy with the inability to kick a soccer ball. How come his leaves couldn't be removed?! YOU CAN TAKE LEAVES OFF OF A TREE. IT WORKS. GO TRY IT. I can go on. And on. And on. AND ON. Forget this movie. GO SEE SPARKLE. I skipped sparkle thinking that this would be better. OHHH boy.

The Expendables 2

3.5/5

What an improvement. The first Expendables movie was just absolute garbage, and one of my most hated movies of the year. I didn't think it delivered. Familiar faces lacked any character. The story was so confusing and so forced it had no tension to it whatsoever. There were so many explosions that the tongue-in-cheek humor was lost from the noise. THIS is what I was expecting the first movie to be. A plot with a relatively coherent story, with each actor playing their typecast role that we all recognize, and enough silence for the humor of these action movie giants all being together. Granted, it had a bunch of plot holes that kinda bugged me, but most of them I could forgive for the nostalgic cheese. I had some trouble understanding why these action heroes who could get out of any situation couldn't get out of the situation that started the whole movie, but I guess that normally happens too. What that scene did do that I really loved, however, is set up that these soldiers who can do no wrong are human. This added more tension to their survival and success, despite the fact that we're seeing the absolute dream team of actors on screen. It's a lot of fun, definitely more fun than the first, with a lot of perfect one liners and super silly moments to keep everyone pretty happy.

ParaNorman

4.5/5

I really enjoyed this. It was one of my top anticipations for the year. Think about it. A stop motion zombie movie. Doesn't that just sound AWESOME?! I loved the Norman character, vulnerable but strong willed, and easily likable. I wish we could have seen more of Neil, his only friend, but the supporting characters as a whole were a ton of fun to follow. The premise is frightening, sweet, silly, and emotional. The turns this movie takes are rather interesting to follow, and it's really cool how it deviates from standard horror movie plots. The scares are actually frightening too! There's lots of really great imagery and moments that make you gasp, not out of shock but out of thoughtful fear. It's what I miss in a lot of movies, and it's welcome here. There's a plot hole here and there that prevent me from thinking of it as brilliance, and I really wanted it to be longer with more of a secondary plot thread, but it really made me think a lot and had me tearing up. Check it out!

Total Recall

2/5

It was fun, but not enough. It was cool, but not enough. It completely lacked charisma, something that Arnold had the entire time in the original. It lacked ridiculousness, something else that made up the original. But in a lot of ways, I enjoyed the seriousness. It made it more fun, kept me more interested. But it completely lacked in character. Everything was so boring and so dull. No one really seemed to be trying. It also did very little to explain itself, rather cramming every bit of exposition into the first minute of the movie. Granted, a lot of movies do this. But that doesn't mean I ever like it. The fact is Colin Farrell just isn't a good replacement for Arnold. Why not pick a more prominent action hero and keep the integrity of the era the original came out? Why not Tom Hardy (who was considered for the role), Chris Hemsworth, even freakin Nick Cage? Heck, Arnold himself showed interest in reprising the role! It was a total miscast, but a decent effort.

The Watch

2/5

I mean...I dunno. I was expecting a lot worse? I know I've been super behind on my trailer screenings (its been a hectic month for me), but in summary, this movie was one that looked a lot better than I knew it was ever going to be. I liked the cast, it seemed like a nice silly premise, it seemed harmless enough. Then you start thinking about it and realize this is not going to be a good movie. But for a bad movie, it had me laugh a few times. Granted, this joke lacks a true sense of humor. It mostly finds its laughs in sperm, sex, and penis jokes. Those get old quick. But Jonah Hill has a lot of fun on screen, and it's already funny that his backstory includes rejection from the police force after he was in 21 Jump Street earlier this year. Everyone else was meh, but meh enough that it wasn't entirely boring. The aliens were fine, even if their whole destruction at the end was a little forced. The whole story was predictable but I don't think anyone's going into this looking for a new story. The motivation for the aliens kinda sucks, but then again so does the motivation to make this movie so what're you gonna do. I dunno. It's fine. If you like lots and lots of penis jokes and have the attention span and sense of humor of a middle schooler, you'll probably like it a lot more than I did. If you want something with smarts, you'll find a handful of genuine jokes in this, but don't get your hopes up for that many laughs.

The Dark Knight Rises

4.5/5

We're talking nuts. We're talking as suspenseful as any great action movie. We're talking about brilliant performances, especially from Joseph Gordon-Levitt. This had me on my seat edge for so long, I swear it hurt to stand up. The action in this is unbelievable, the scale without comparison, and the reality so close that it's frightening. Why 4.5/5 then? Well I feel I can't honestly give this a 5. I liked The Dark Knight and Batman Begins both better. What this movie had in suspense, action, and an amazing sense of satisfaction, it lacked in the exploration of human character that the first two had. In the first movie, we explored the reaction to fear, and how it brings the best and worst in people out. That was further explored in The Dark Knight, with the added twist of how humans react when pitted against each other unwillingly. This, however, is only a character study of Bruce Wayne, Selena Kyle, John Blake, and Bane. Don't get me wrong - this is NOT a bad thing. But rather than be an extremely interesting look into the human mind in the context of Gotham city's hero and villain interactions, it was an incredible action movie experience. I'd go so far as to say that this is the most comic book like movie of the three Nolan Batman films. This is demonstrated the best through Bane's character. While he himself was intimidating (thanks to a stellar performance from Tom Hardy, though perhaps not his best when I think of Tinker Tailor and Warrior), I was never personally afraid of Bane. I was afraid of his power, his charisma, and his control. But never did I experience the fear I felt while watching the Joker or Scarecrow. Still, anyone who tells you that this was a disappointing movie is not looking at the big picture - that an epic conclusion to an absolutely enormous trilogy of movies from a single director could not have been concluded in a bigger way. Get to see it as soon as you can, and experience the biggest movie of the summer, probably of the year as well. You won't be disappointed.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

5/5

An absolutely gorgeous movie with so much heart and so much care. It's only problem was its music. And the music was great, but heavy handed. It was clearly a movie that needed more silence, and didn't have enough music recorded to cover the spaces where the music was. Regardless though, Quvenzhane Wallis was fantastic, a perfect blend of childhood innocence and true power and passion (watch some interviews with her. She's adorable). We had absolutely fantastic performances from every single person in the movie, most of whom don't have that much of an acting career backing them up! Anyone out there like Avatar for taking them to a completely new world? Well forget that, THIS is the movie that really transported you to an entirely new world. And even better, this world is real. It's an absolutely heart wrenching story, one that you won't forget anytime soon. DEFINITELY one to check out, and definitely one to go out of your way to see!

Ice Age: Continental Drift

1/5

This was just riddled with problems. While I never really enjoyed the Ice Age movies, I had some respect for the first one. It was a standard but nice story, I liked the characters fine, and for a kids movie it actually had a lot of respect for scientific accuracy. More than you'd think, anyway. This completely throws out any scientific accuracy for an obnoxiously cliche story, annoying characters, and blatant lack of care for any originality whatsoever. It's called "Continental Drift" but it's about pirates? And even for a kids movie, you honestly expect me to believe that every time an iceberg is knocked off it happens to be in the perfect shape of a boat? You also expect us to believe that one insane animal can throw all of the food off of the ship...and you don't remotely care? There's a GIANT FRICKIN CLIFF ABOUT TO PUSH ALL OF YOU TO YOUR DOOM...and all you freakin care about is the STUPID HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? You expect me to be afraid of a pirate captain that is beaten at every opportunity, from the start to the end with no discernible strengths whatsoever? I can go on. There's also way too much focus on Scrat...and what's worse, every scene with Scrat...WAS A TRAILER. That's right, every one of the trailers was a scene in the movie! Ridiculous, lazy, and annoying. The most that can be said about this movie is a really great short at the beginning, starring the Simpsons. But of course, skip this movie. Rent it for the short.

Katy Perry: Part of Me

4/5

I already like Katy Perry. I wasn't going into this movie to be convinced to like her as a person or as a singer, I think she's a fun person and a fun pop musician. I went in to see a decently shot concert movie and a nice look into her life as a performer. I got a really nicely shot movie with a great structure and even a bit of a plot to follow. If you don't already love her as a person, the movie shows you her heart and her ability to connect with anyone through her unique charisma and style, and that's enough to support her throughout the movie even if Firework isn't your favorite song. At some points it did let its structure border on predictability, which wasn't something I wanted to see out of a documentary. And sometimes it's obvious how it was thrown together to transform her already enormous popularity into more profits. But even so, the heart of her performance is captured and her relationships with her crew are nicely shown. It's worth a check out if you're a Katy Perry fan, and if you're not, give it a shot. I think there's a lot in her to respect.

Savages

1/5

I started watching this movie relatively unimpressed. Then I started to enjoy it. It had a solid script, a really nice group of performances, and some great imagery in the violence and gore. It had a lot of images that made you gasp, made you cringe, made you really feel sympathy where it needed to be felt. And then. The ending happened.

WHAT

THE

HELL

I mean seriously. It's the dumbest ending to a movie I can think of at the moment! It was so bad, I WAS  GOING TO GIVE THIS MOVIE A 3.5 UNTIL THE LAST 15 MINUTES RUINED IT. The entire experience and seriousness of the two hours previous was completely lost. Everything was gone, thrown out the window and replaced with an idea pulled out of a hat. Audience members were actually getting up and leaving before the final scene ended. I had no idea what to think. Obviously I'm not going to type the ending here (if you REALLY wanna know I'm sure you can find it, or just talk to me for my interpretation of the ending. But seriously, people. Maybe some of you wanna see it for Blake Lively. Maybe you wanna see it for John Travolta. Maybe you wanna see it for Taylor Kitsch (although why you'd want to after Battleship and John Carter is beyond me). But MY GOD if you're going to watch it RENT IT. Don't waste your time and money seeing it in theatre's, the ending ruins the entire damn movie. GOD. I just want to forget I saw it.

The Amazing Spider-Man

4/5

People were really surprised to hear about a reboot of this so soon after the recent Spider-Man movies. I gotta say, while it didn't exactly prove a case for the necessity of a reboot, it did a great job to distinguish itself from the first. I really enjoyed it, in a lot of ways more than the first. I did have some problems, like the concept for the suit coming out of basically nowhere and being the first suit the first try. But I loved how he made his own webs rather than have inexplicable organs develop inside his body to make webs somehow come out of his wrists. I really loved the updated Ben Parker death scene, as well as the slightly changed moral. Emma Stone was really great, as was the rest of the cast. But no one shined as bright as Andrew Garfield, who absolutely nailed the perfect Peter Parker. He distinguished his sweet, nerdy side from his smart-ass crime fighter side really well. It had just enough comic book silliness for it to be a fun summer movie, but enough seriousness for me to really believe it and want to follow it. Definitely one to check out, and have fun with it. And keep an eye open for the occasional nod to the first spider-man movie.

Magic Mike

2/5

Not that I saw this movie. I didn't. Why would I see a movie about male strippers. That's silly. You're silly...but if I DID see it, I'd have to say it's exactly what you'd expect from Steven Soderbergh based on his last two movies, Haywire and Contagion. First of all, there was barely any stripping, especially compared to what you'd expect from a movie about male strippers. Second of all, there was no PLOT. I swear to god the first hour and 15 minutes or so were completely pointless. It was as if he wanted spend all of the movie focusing on nothing but the strippers lives outside of the strip club, and then maybe in the last 25 minutes or so cram in this story about drugs and personal epiphanies or something silly like that, it was some super forced writing. The cast really gave 100% but with such a pointless story that it really didn't help at all. It had that super slow pace but not from care or patience with a story, but rather to focus on complete pointlessness to draw out character traits. The style came through, but with really no substance to back it up it was fruitless. And I talked to a bunch of girls who did go solely to see stripping muscular men who were seriously disappointed with the surprising lack of it. So, it looks like this movie will disappoint people more than they thought it will. Good thing I didn't see it. Ya know, it would be STUPID for me to see a movie about male strippers...

People Like Us

3/5

You think this would be more melodramatic than it was. And don't get me wrong, it's pretty damn melodramatic. But it's a sweet story, with a lot of heart from its screenwriter and its actors. Elizabeth Banks is sweet, conflicted and loving, and plays her part incredibly well. Chris Pine does a phenomenal job of playing an extremely normal person - he really does shed his celebrity aura and lets us see him as a coworker, a friend, or just a person. The screenplay was surprisingly solid, with one or two great moral's being thrown in (my personal favorite: Most of the doors you'll come to in life will be closed, and to get in, you're gonna need an interesting knock). Those really help mix up what might have been a little bit cliche, but honest enough to let it slide. This movie is "inspired by true events". I don't know how close it was, but what I can say is that Elizabeth Banks and Chris Pine push through the obvious melodrama to make it honest. It is, however, ruined by two things.  One - a plot thread that just vanishes. And this plot thread is one that wouldn't just vanish (no spoilers here). Two - the music. Talk about forcing emotions down your throat...yikes. And the sad part is it was written by A. R. Rahman, the film composer who's responsible for Slumdog Millionaire and 127 Hours, to mention two of a very great many films. Still, go in and enjoy Bank's and Pine's great acting, and let the sap just kinda pass through.

Ted

3.5/5

It's Seth MacFarlane. That says it all right? Go into this and you know exactly what kind of humor you're subjecting yourself to. At the same time, this had a lot more heart to it than you'd think...even after hearing it had more heart to it than you'd think. First of all, it had a similar effect on me as Gnomeo and Juliet. In that movie, every time the gnomes were falling, I was antsy because I was afraid they were going to shatter or crack. The same thing happened here...at one point Ted has an ear ripped off, as well as a few other injuries. I swear it was more emotionally dire than a guy in an action movie getting his ear ripped off. And the ending was actually pretty cute! The Family Guy humor wasn't over the top or obnoxious, and it had some really brilliant references to Family Guy (my favorite being the a certain cameo portraying himself as a gay man). It's not going to win any points for creativity in plot line, but it definitely wins points for a clever, fun idea with a lot of heart and exactly the style fans of Seth MacFarlane will want - raunchy, still smart, and with a lot of patience and heart. Also, EXTREMELY impressive motion capture of Seth MacFarlane's body translates unbelievably well to a stuffed animal.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

2/5

Ya know, a lot of people were expecting this to be a LOT of fun. I was one of them. Reviews said that the movie took itself far too seriously. Again, I agree. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was the movie demanding us to take it seriously. Scenes that could have been fun were crammed with purpose and annoying symbolism, and bad-ass fight sequences were followed with brooding seriousness that became incredibly annoying. Seriously, it's about Abe Lincoln fighting vampires and it was trying to force an emotion down our throats. It's one thing to take something too seriously, this is particularly annoying. It leads to some things that, also, are a little unbelievable. Emotional drive can allow a human to use an axe and cut down a tree in a single swing? Please. Also, for such an anticipated movie this had some seriously questionable special effects. A lot of times it was incredibly obvious when we were looking at CGI, and that was incredibly disappointing. Still, don't let it control how you feel, have fun with the stupidity, and you're going to have a lot of fun watching this historical figure fight with an axe coated in silver.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

3/5

It has it's moments, it's great moments, and a nice moral to think about. But most of the humor is lost in stiffness of performance, and most of the seriousness is lost in the lost humor. Sadly, no one's performances were really powerful enough to me to live up to the great cast. Bill Nighy and Dev Patel were the exceptions, Dev Patel in particular giving me hope that his career wasn't completely lost from The Last Airbender. Still, these performances were held back by an obvious moral, one of those morals that was introduced within the first 10 minutes of the film. So obvious, in fact, that it actually ruined the ending a bit for me. Tension was gone, and any suspense that anything might not be fixed was wiped away very quickly. Still, it had me smile and had me entertained. It's an alright movie.

Your Sister's Sister

3.5/5

It was a sweet film, if not all that creative of one. The plot is simple - Mark Duplass sleeps with Rosemarie DeWitt, who's Emily Blunt's sister, when Emily Blunt admits to being in love with her best friend. The plot move's pretty predictably, with one major plot point coming through other than the predictable ones. It's not a thought provoking movie, but it had us laughing a fair amount, definitely more than I anticipated. I love Emily Blunt, she comes across as so carefree and loving. Mark Duplass is a sweet, funny, honest person who kicks himself in the head for his mistakes, which makes us really love him too. Rosemarie DeWitt is so much fun in her own way, it's hard to describe. All in all, I'd recommend this movie to those of you looking for a movie with not a lot of thought, but enough substance to have a great conversation following it.

Brave

 

3.5/5

I can't say I was totally impressed with Brave, and as a Pixar nut, it didn't meet my expectations for their past productions (though I still enjoyed it a bit more than A Bugs Life, my least favorite of the Pixar films). Still, it uses some great story telling with, again, gorgeous imagery to make a not so impressive story pretty fun to follow. Merida is a fun character, although perhaps a little bit too generic, and the rest of the characters are fine together as well. Where the movie really succeeds is its heart in telling this mother-daughter story as such. My girlfriend, sitting next to me at the time, started crying at some of their interactions as a mother and daughter, and I too felt myself choking up towards the end. However, sadly, you can't go into this movie expecting the brilliant storytelling that Pixar has really made itself into. It wasn't a disappointment of a movie (I still give it 3.5, and I'll add it to my Pixar collection), but it was a disappointment to the Pixar label.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

 

4/5

I was so happy with how this came out. Granted, it's a smidge sappy and has a few WTF moments, but what it loses in sense it absolutely makes up for in a sweet, silly, fun and beautiful story. Steve Carell has a perfect sweetness and humor whenever he speaks, allowing us to love him from his first lines. The movie handles its story extremely well has a comedy and as an exploration of the mentality of people approaching the end of the world, while still treating itself as a funny adventure between the two leads. Great parodies of end of the world mentality mixed with believable desperate attitudes mix together flawlessly, and allow us to laugh and cry when appropriate. Rotten Tomatoes has this scored around the 50's for "jarring tonal differences" and a "disappointing final act". Are you joking? The tonal differences are seamless to me, simply understood by accepting the mentality of Steve Carell's character and where he needs to go and what he has to do. This was a really great movie, and I'm so happy it didn't disappoint.

Rock of Ages

2.5/5

Well...I liked it more than the musical? I guess? It cut through the silly segue's to songs and just left...silliness. First of all, Tom Cruise as this irresistible sex symbol? That's...stretching it. Even if he was this gorgeous jewel of a man, his character has to seduce the audience with his voice. Well, he chose to sing with his own voice rather than have someone else dub it over. A noble choice, I'd say, but one that doesn't work. His voice sounded untrained, too simple, not seductive or rock hard at all. The rest of the cast really wasn't that much better. Only one or two voices were really that good. Plot threads felt forced, unnecessary to say the least. The music was too tacky, and that's saying something for an adaptation of Broadway. I guess diehard fans might really get into this, but anyone going into this to experience the music of that time period I expect will be pretty disappointed, hearing their favorite songs really weighed down by a silly story, pointless characters, and obnoxious singing. Also, glaring stupid mistakes. At one point, our leading character comes on stage with a guitar. He screams into the microphone, all the while this guitar on his back. Then he hands off the guitar, mid song, to a stagehand. So he brought the guitar on stage for no reason. What was that about? Moments like those will get to you. If you're crazy into 80s culture, or are turned on by Tom Cruise wearing fur, have fun.

That's My Boy

1.5/5

It wasn't as bad as past Happy Madison movies, I'll give it that. But...eh? My audience wasn't even that enthusiastic about it. No one really laughed except out of discomfort. The points of humor in this movie weren't anything new, and I'm sure had the 11 year old boys in the audience howling. But that's just it - nothing new. All old. And where it wasn't old, it was...well, strange. Adam Sandler puts on another really annoying voice for this one, so get ready for that. Andy Samberg tries his hardest, but it really just falls apart to lame gag after lame gag. It wasn't that bad even. It was just too simple, not crazy enough, and when it was crazy it was too stupid for the audience to really appreciate. Moreso, it really looks like audiences are giving up on Adam Sandler movies (at last). His last films were pretty damn successful. This one, however, only pulled in less than 15 million dollars on it's 75 million dollar budget. So it looks like this one won't even break even.

Moonrise Kingdom

5/5

Another perfect score. I loved this movie. Every second of it had a perfectly toned sense of sweetness, innocence, shock, humor, beauty. It kept me laughing really hard, it had me gasp where I needed to gasp. It had absolutely flawless performances from every one of its cast members. I loved the concept - a troubled boy and a troubled girl arrange to run away together and get married, the boy ditching his scout camp while the girl runs away from home. It's really an honest, sweet coming of age story. Props to Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, and our two child actors. Definitely check this out if it's playing near you.

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

3/5

It started SO promising. Great joke after great joke, I loved the animal control woman, the characters finally had...well character, the animation was finally matching some effort put into it, and it was great! Then it started to slow. The plot's silliness and the quality of the jokes went in a steadily down. It never was bad, but it failed to live up to the level of cleverness in the first third or so. Still, I have to give it to the movie for seriously improving on the first two Madagascar movies. They definitely took better control of their budget, because the movie looked great. The laziness of the characters was embraced into a style, that had enough of a cartoon look to it to be fun with enough tech to look respectable (Alex's mane really looked great). It's funny, you might be shocked with how much you like it. I just couldn't get into the same story we've seen a billion times in animated movies.

Prometheus

5/5

I can't lie. I was thinking really hard for a reason to give this 4.5 instead of 5. It feels like I've been giving out so many great reviews this year. But I have to be fair. I was completely mesmerized from start to finish. Everything in this movie worked, everything was great. The performances were great, the atmosphere was gorgeous, the CGI work was fantastic and I appreciated the large amount of not-CGI special effects. The story was frightening and compelling, with enough moments to keep the Alien fans really happy, but not focusing so much on the fans as to shut out people who might not have watched the movie. Frankly, there was just enough gore to take it seriously and be frightened rather than laugh or lose the impact. The details in technology between this movie and the previous one's was very much appreciated. The music set up a nice amount of tension whilst not being overbearing or forced. This movie comes highly recommended, for Alien fans and non-Alien fans to enjoy.

Snow White and the Huntsman

1.5/5

Well, it's a step up from Mirror Mirror, but it's still at the bottom of a very, very long staircase. I don't believe anything that's happening on screen, and that's with as much suspension of disbelief as one can give a fairy tale. Why exactly does a kiss awaken Snow White when no visible magic was unleashed and no declaration of true loves first kiss as the cure given? Why exactly is the encompassing of life put into a stag that bursts into butterflies when shot with an arrow? The list goes on. Then there's an abundance of silly moments. When confronted by a troll, Hemsworth is knocked to the ground rather quickly. So how is the troll defeated? Kristen Stewart gives an all mighty "RAWRRRRRRR". No, I'm not joking. She rawrs. What's worse? The troll walks away. Seriously? Another silly moment - every moment with Charlize Theron. In fact, the whole cast. It was a battle - over acting vs under acting. On one side, Charlize Theron and her brother over act worse than Travolta in Battle Field Earth. On the other hand, we have Kristen Stewart with about as much passion as she had in...well, Twilight. Seriously she's so passionless and so boring to watch. She never ventured out of a tiny smile or a blank face, unless that blank face had a single tear. And last but not least... you're trying to convince me that Kristen Stewart is more beautiful than Charlize Theron? Really. You're going to try to convince me of that? Not gonna happen.

Men In Black III

2.5/5

I liked it. It was definitely better than the last one. But it really doesn't prove to me that we needed another sequel. More-so, it was super slow in the middle. Really? A slow MIB movie? I'm sure no one wanted that. I even started dozing off. It didn't really hold itself as a comeback of MIB either. It picked up as if there was no time difference between the second and third movies. And it had significantly less alien problems. Really, there wasn't nearly as much alien activity as there was in the last two. And that's what I wanted. I missed the cool designs filling the screen. I missed the crazy concepts they had for alien powers. There was some of it in this movie, and I suppose enough, but for me, I wanted a lot more of the craziness. And the final scene really sucked. It ruined a lot of my feelings towards it, after being mildly satisfied afterwards. But it's nice nostalgic fun. I'm sure you'll enjoy it and get over the bit of letdown.

Chernobyl Diaries

2/5

It wasn't horrible, but it definitely wasn't what I'm sure people want. I appreciate the creepy idea, but there are some issues...like the fact that homeless people and those who came back illegally DO live in the area. Jesse McCartney was awful, as was the rest of the cast. For the most part, it just wasn't scary. There were one or two creepy(ish) parts, but for the most part there were no jumps or screams. I felt a decent amount of suspense but was let down every time. The people monster things were never shown, which was silly considering thats all we wanted to see. Silly plot points, the obligatory marriage proposal, etc. It's pretty lame.

Dark Shadows

0.5/5

We walked out. Simple as that. This was awful. And look at that! It's his worst reviewed movie on Rotten Tomatoes! I'm so unimpressed with new Tim Burton. It goes beyond style and becomes hokey and silly. This had no credibility anywhere, even with any suspense of disbelief. It had an atrocious script and terrible delivery of every line. Depp gives by far his worst performance of any of his movies I've ever seen. The opening scene is completely silly and lead to a lot of laughter in my theatre. And it hardly worked! It would have been far more appropriate as a flashback scene, or exposition after Depp was unburied. We walked out after a completely forced scene of character development between Depp and the obligatory father figure. I asked the ending and was completely satisfied to have not watched it. It's bad people. Don't let Depp or Burton deceive you, I'm waiting for Frankenweenie, maybe then my hope in Burton will return.

The Dictator

 1.5/5

First of all, it wasn't the racism or incredible insensitivity that got to me. In fact, I have to hand it to the  movie for the two or three funny jokes that had me smile. It was the rest of the humor. No point in this movie really had me laughing. The jokes were insulting, but none of them were all that clever or all that memorable. And that's the biggest problem with this movie. You can't have a movie that's outright trying to be insulting and trying to be somewhat political be forgettable. Most of the movie kindof forgets what it's main purpose was to begin with - we go from essentially a political coup to Cohen trying to get a girl to fall in love with him. Frankly, I'd like to see the first story. Especially when that includes Ben Kingsley. Seriously, why not focus on that story. I like Ben Kingsley. A lot of people will find this really funny. An equal or larger amount of people will find this really insulting. Me, I dunno. I'm wondering if I'll remember half of it come next week.

Battleship

1/5

If we're going to compare this to the Transformers movie because of the Hasbro license, it's unquestionably the worse of the two. While Transformers wasn't exactly brilliance, it really encompassed the childhood imagination of the toy line, with enough similarities to the cartoons for the diehard fans. This...first off I don't think that there was a protest in Hollywood screaming for a Battleship movie. Second, it really didn't have anything to do with the game. In fact, it only had a small association with an actual battleship. Everyone in it was just awful, each of them their own emotionless, cutout bag of emptiness. Liam Neeson is someone to get excited about, until you learn he's in the movie for all of 7 minutes. Seriously, he's barely there. Some of the CGI was fun enough, but the aliens themselves were really lame. The technology was boring too. This advanced alien race only had three weapons used at sea. The aliens themselves were boring looking. The script was riddled with strange plot holes. Why exactly was it that this alien race who came from a planet the same size, distance from the sun, and atmosphere as earth and are roughly the same size, couldn't handle sunlight? And if any bright light was dangerous, why on earth was their ship covered and laced with incredibly bright lights? All in all, this is one to skip. Go see The Avengers again.